


Christmas With The Haughts

by comelayinmybed, RainbowBus



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 67 Mustang, Angel Waverly Earp, Awkward family get togethers, Grumpy Nicole, Nicole Haught Needs A Hug, No Babies, The Twins - Freeform, Tiny Purgatory, goat yoga, waverly earp - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21752296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comelayinmybed/pseuds/comelayinmybed, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowBus/pseuds/RainbowBus
Summary: Nicole knew this was a bad idea but Waverly always gets what she wants.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 41
Kudos: 191





	1. Christmas Eve

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to our awesome beta LuckyWantsToKnow for editing this for us!

The colored lights reflect off the tinsel as Waverly and Nicole stroll down Main Street in Purgatory. Snow falls gently and the chill turns their breath to fog as they chatter excitedly about the shopping that’s planned for the day. 

Just as they make it to the toy store, the giant soldier from the Nutcracker casting a shadow on their faces, Waverly sees twins climbing onto Santa’s lap just inside the shop window. 

“Awhhhh, look Nicole!” she coos.

“What?”

“The twins! Look how precious they are! Their outfits match and they’re both holding teddy bears. They can’t be more than three.”

“Twins…Twins?! Waverly…you know how I feel about twins,” remarks Nicole with utter disgust.

“Just because you have twin siblings doesn’t mean the rest of the world doesn’t love them, Nicole,” Waverly chides.

“Trust me, the rest of the world couldn’t possibly love twins as much as you do, Waves…” 

Waverly grabs hold of Nicole’s arm, twisting the thick coat sleeve slightly, “It’s a secret blessing to have twins. You get two kids and go through everything at the same time.”

“Have you been talking to Nancy?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Waverly dismisses.

“Nancy is always going to thrill at the chance to talk about her perfect little babies. Do you know she still does their laundry for them??” Nicole questions, in utter disbelief.

“I’d do our baby’s laundry as long as they needed me to.”

“They’re twenty-four, Waverly! Do you know how old I was when I had to start doing my own laundry?”

“You’re just a very capable person, Nicole. Your mom obviously knew you could handle it.”

“Nancy knows nothing about me…” Nicole mutters, as she attempts to steer Waverly away from the long line of sweaty, whining children waiting for Santa.

Later that evening as Nicole and Waverly survey the spoils of their shopping trip, Waverly pulls out a secretly-purchased onesie with rainbow buses on it. 

“Nicole, look how tiny! Can you imagine how precious a baby would look in this?” Waverly muses.

“You  **_have_ ** been talking to Nancy!” Nicole accuses.

“I don’t know why you’re so down on your mother, Nicole. She’s an attorney for one of the biggest firms in Purgatory and she’s raised five incredible kids. She’s the epitome of having it all.”

“My father might protest…”

“Why do you say that?”

“I know Nancy seems all rainbows and sunshine to you, but what has she put my dad through over all these years? He could’ve been a surgeon, but she browbeat the ambition right out of him. He’s just running his own general practice, seeing the same people for decades now.”

“You say that as if your father didn’t want to parent all of you when your mom was on a case or…”

“He didn’t,” Nicole declares.

“How do you know?” Waverly asks, her brow furrowing with the possibility of a story Nicole has somehow not shared in their years together.

“Waverly, I know more about toy trains and model cities than any grown woman should. He didn’t know what to do with the lot of us and he just constantly sat at that damn replica of Purgatory and told us stories. Silly stories, Waverly! No one wants to hear about how the post office was a train depot in the 1800’s.”

“I do,” whispers Waverly meekly.

Nicole makes her way across the room, pulling Waverly into an embrace. “Okay, most people don’t. I didn’t…I just wanted my dad to go to my basketball games and…”

“Nicole, your parents did that…” Waverly argues.

“For Noah and Noelle! I don’t remember them being at any of my games, not even the state championship in high school. They were spread too thin; they neglected us…it wasn’t reasonable to have five children and expect any of them to get enough attention, especially when they couldn’t even agree on the way to raise them. I think we all know that Nash is testament to how much parents can screw up their kids.”

“Nash does have issues, but he should’ve never married Barbie just because she was pregnant. They were horrible together…”

“ _ Horrible _ ,” Nicole agrees.

“But the point is, we can learn from their mistakes. We can take what they didn’t do well and correct it with our own kids.”

“Our kids?  **_Our kids_ ** , Waverly? And what about when you’re at a conference for supernatural research or I’m on a case and can’t leave for dinner every night??” Nicole argues.

“You say that as if one of us wouldn’t be able to always be there for our children, Nicole. We would make it work. Plus we have Wynonna and Doc and a whole lot of Purgatorians to help us. We would always put them first, I know we would…I just don’t understand why you’re not seeing this whole angel thing as a blessing. We don’t have to find some third party to have children together and-“

Nicole sighs heavily, “Look, I have always thought that being a lesbian meant that I didn’t have to deal with this. How is it possible that you can…” Nicole gestures with her hands wildly over Waverly’s body, “…make a baby??”

“Well, I can’t really do it alone, Nicole,” she replies dejectedly.

“I don’t want this, Waverly. I’m not sure why you can’t understand. When we first started dating I was quick to tell you where I stood: no babies.”

“No babies,” Waverly repeats.

“Right, and so I just want to continue living our perfect life, doing what we love and enjoying each other.”

Waverly pushes out of Nicole’s embrace and folds the onesie up quickly, stuffing it back in the shopping bag, muttering, “You just don’t want to open your heart to something that could be potentially wonderful.” Her voice grows cold and bitter. “Of course, you could never love anything as much as that damn Mustang.”

Nicole’s shoulders slump and she pauses, but Waverly has her there. She does love that car. She’s had it since her graduation from the academy and boy, has it been expensive to keep up at times. But it’s…it’s her baby, and the only real baby she has room for in her heart. Then the second thought creeps into her mind, as it always does. 

“Why do you feel like we need kids? Isn’t our life together good? Do I not make you happy, Waverly?”

“It’s not that, Nicole. You know I love you, and I love our life. We’re so good together, but…” Waverly ponders, even as her hand still rests on the bag, silently protecting her wishes contained within the baby clothes.

Nicole doesn’t give her time to answer, “But what?” She’s impatient. She can see the wheels turning in Waverly’s head, tabulating all her reasons. 

It’s the same conversation...argument? It’s the same thing they’ve been discussing off and on for months. Waverly says she wants a baby and Nicole immediately details all the reasons why that’s not a good idea. She can recount them now; she feels she should review her list because Waverly is gathering her courage for rebuttal.

“Nicole, ever since I found out it could really be  _ our baby _ , I can’t stop wanting it. I can’t put it off. What if there’s a small window? What if this is our only chance??” Waverly laments.

“I”m not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, Waverly. Our life is good,  **so good** ,” she reminds her wife, coming towards her, trying to cajole her understanding. “We’ve finally gotten to a place where revenants and demons and vampires aren’t a constant in our everyday life, Waves. I just want peace and quiet. I just want to be with you and be happy.”

“I thought this could bring us happiness too…” Waverly mentions before turning towards the bathroom, closing the door, as she tries to stop the tears from falling.

***

Nicole tugs at a loose string hanging from the seam of the couch; her mind is tangled in disbelief and an overwhelming sense of dread. Even the wire sharp pinch of the string winding around and around her finger can’t keep her present. She can’t stop thinking about it. The things Waverly learned in all her research. The possible disastrous outcomes. All of it sits in her gut like rotten milk. 

“Waverly did some research…” she says flatly, almost zombie-like, “you know, to understand herself better.” 

Wynonna lowers the beer bottle from her lips and swallows with a satisfying hiss. “Typical,” she says. “Always with the books and the Google.” 

Nicole shrugs wishing she weren’t having this conversation with Wynonna, but who else can she talk to about it and she  _ needs  _ to get it out. She closes her eyes and exhales. “Anyway, she found all this information on angel pregnancies.” 

“Really?” Wynonna says confounded, scanning Nicole out of the corner of her eye. “You guys thinking of popping out a few Earps?”

“Well no. That’s part of the problem. Apparently, angels can make themselves pregnant...in  _ nontraditional _ ways.”

Wynonna gives a look of disbelief and ridicule, her beer paused against her lips. “So can humans. It’s called modern medicine, Nicole... _ duh _ .” 

Nicole rolls her eyes. “I mean like, all she has to do is  _ want  _ it.” And she  _ does _ want it. “I mean she can’t do it  _ completely _ alone, but still…” 

Giggling coming from the center of the living room momentarily draws Nicole away from the conversation, to Alice and Waverly sitting on the floor. Alice explains the story of how her stuffed dog survived a vampire disco for the one hundredth time, and Waverly acts just as interested as if it were the first. 

How does she do that? How does Waverly sit there and pretend like everything her niece says and does is so exciting and new? Nicole can’t do that. She doesn’t have the time. Free time is fleeting that’s time she could be working on her Mustang. 

Nicole sighs, that’s part of the problem, Waverly’s not pretending. Everything Alice says and does  _ is  _ exciting and new to Waverly. That’s what she wants: a baby to  fawn over, to endlessly love and spoil, and she could have it, with just a thought. 

Nicole shakes her head and considers the horror of it. An unplanned pregnancy, not something she’s ever imagined for herself. “We have sex and... _ poof  _ she’s pregnant, with  _ my  _ baby.”

“It happens to the best of us.” Wynonna shrugs and tips her beer back. The string snaps around Nicole’s finger. Wynonna is not grasping the gravity of the situation, the possibility of the impossible. Of course she’s not, after all the supernatural weirdos she’s sent back to hell, nothing phases her.

“Wynonna  _ think  _ about it. Waverly can just...conjure up some little angel baby without all the...” Nicole’s face scrunches up in disgust with merely the idea of it. Also something she never imagined having to think about. “ _ Other stuff. _ ” 

“Huh,” Wynonna huffs in recognition. She pauses as she considers it, eyes fixed on the ceiling, beer hanging in the air at chin height. “Millennials these days. All the reward with none of the hard work...or wait, is it the other way around?” Her gaze lands on Nicole and she tries to offer some sort of consolation. “Surely there’s a birth control for this kind of thing.” 

“Wynonna, this isn’t funny. Waverly could spontaneously get pregnant, and there’s nothing I can do about it. All she talks about these days are babies...I’m really afraid she might do it, by accident or otherwise.” 

Wynonna nods in solidarity and takes another pull from her beer. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s weird as eff.” 

Nicole groans out her frustrations and leans slack against the back of the couch. “I’m screwed.” 

To make things worse Alice teeters over waving a sheet of paper with various colors of Crayola marker smeared across it. “Mama! Auntie Nicole! Look what me and Auntie Waverly made.” 

Nicole and Wynonna both lean forward off the couch. Aside from all of Nicole’s fears and frustrations, she really does adore her niece. She’s loved her from day one. Cutest baby she’s ever seen.

Nicole pinches the edge of the paper dangling from Alice's tiny fingers to angle it better for her to see. Six little stick figures sloppily drawn in front of two very lopsided houses, complete with flowers and what Nicole assumes is grass. 

“That’s beautiful, baby,” Wynonna says. 

Alice proceeds to point to each figure by name. “That’s mama, daddy…” she says in reference to the first two stick figures holding hands, one of whom wears a black cowboy style hat. “I’m holding daddy’s hand, and over here is Auntie Nicole and Auntie Waverly…” 

Nicole squints at another tiny little figure holding ‘stick figure Waverly’s’ and ‘stick figure Alice’s’ hands. “Who’s this little one?” 

“Oh, that’s you and Auntie Waverly’s baby of course,” Alice chirps proudly. 

Nicole takes her squinting to Waverly sitting innocently in the middle of the living room. She looks away immediately after making eye contact. 

“Auntie Nicole, do you like it?” 

Nicole forces a smile at her niece and squeezes her arm affectionately. “I love it. It’s perfect, sweetheart.” 

***

Nicole zips through the house trying to catch the phone as it rings. She curses under her breath. It’s never where it belongs. She frantically rips apart the couch digging through the cushions until she finds it nestled next to two dimes and a Purgatory Police Department pen. 

“Hello,” she greets a little out of breath. There is no answer. She double checks to make sure the caller hasn’t hung up. “Hello?”

“Nicole? Is that you, dear?” 

Nicole rolls her eyes. “Nancy, of course it’s me. Who else would it be?” 

“Oh goodie! I’m glad I caught you before you left for work.” 

“What do you want mom?” Nicole says, her voice a little curt. Nancy only calls when she wants something, or to spill the tea about her neighbors, and Nicole dreads it every time. 

“I just wanted to call and let you know we received your voicemail about next weekend.” 

Nicole’s heart speeds up and her shirt seems to set snug around the collar. There's a definite excitement radiating through the other end of the phone.“What voicemail? What’s next weekend?” 

Then it dawns on her. She’s not an idiot, she knows next weekend is Christmas, and what does Nancy do every Christmas? Hosts a family Christmas get together where all her rowdy, irritating, goody-two-shoes siblings and their kids gather for the weekend. Nicole hasn’t been in years, and she’s never taken Waverly. 

Of course Waverly has met Nancy and Nelson at the occasional Sunday brunch, and briefly her eldest sister Nahla and her brother Nash at their wedding, but never in a million years has Nicole considered taking Waverly to family Christmas. The thought trickles down her spine like ice. 

There must be a mistake. Nicole didn’t leave a voicemail to agree to this...she sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. Of course...Waverly did. 

“I’m so excited to finally have you and Waverly over for family Christmas. It’s been so long since I’ve had all my babies around the tree at once.” She gasps excitedly, “I have your old room all set up for the two of you. I got new sheets for the bed and everything. I figured you were grown out of Garfield by now,” Nancy giggles with affection. 

“Nancy! I did not have Garfield sheets, oh my god. They were just cats mom! Orange cats.” 

“Whatever you say, Nicky.” Nicole cringes at the endearment. “Anyway, Nash is bringing Angus and his new girlfriend, Cassity or, no, maybe it was Charity? Oh! I’m just so excited. Your sister will just die. We miss you, you know?” 

Nicole stares at the phone as Nancy continues to ramble on. She half considers stuffing it back into the couch cushions and walking away. She  _ can’t _ go to family Christmas. She can’t and she won’t. 

“Okay, mom. I gotta go to work. Bye,” Nicole says quickly and hangs up the phone. 

She doesn’t shove it into the couch cushions. It goes back where it belongs. 

“Waverly!” 

Nicole stomps her way up the stairs ready to give Waverly a piece of her mind. How could Waverly go behind her back like that? She knows how Nicole feels about her family. It’s nothing personal to Waverly. Nicole loves Waverly and any opportunity to show her off, because damn is Nicole lucky to have her. But it’s the Haughts. They’re a bunch of walking nightmares. Her sister Nahla is just so damn opinionated. Every little topic, she has to add her two cents. 

Nash is overall revolting with his cliche cowboy ensemble and reputation for drinking and sleeping around. Nicole makes a mental note never to introduce him to Wynonna. Then there’s the twins...those horrible little monsters. They can do no wrong according to Nancy. However, Nicole remembers vividly how they tortured her with pranks and jokes. There was always some kind of bruise on Nicole’s shin or a cut on her elbow from tripping on this and being smacked in the head with that. Horrible little monsters. 

“Waverly,” Nicole says as she trudges into the bedroom. 

Waverly sets aside the book propped up in her lap and sits up straighter in the bed with concern drawn on her face, “Nicole, what’s wrong?” 

“You called Nancy?” 

Waverly sighs, “I did. You can’t avoid your family forever. She’s been begging you to come to family Christmas the entire time we’ve been married. Would it kill you to go just once?”

“It might,” Nicole pouts. “You don’t understand what they’re like Waverly. You—”

“You’re right, I don’t, because you have never given me the chance. I want to go, Nicole.” Waverly slides off the bed and plants her feet on the ground. “I just...you have all these family members that I barely know and some that I’ve never even met. I want to meet your other siblings, Nicole, and Angus and Priscilla.” 

Nicole backs up waving her hands in front of her, shaking her head, gaining some kind of understanding. “Oh I see where this is going. You just want to spend time with the babies, to see if you can convince me to have one, by proving how great my niece and nephew are.” 

“ _ Our  _ niece and nephew, Nicole...and that’s not it at all.” Waverly approaches Nicole rubbing her hands up Nicole’s arms and resting them on Nicole’s shoulders. “You know so much about me, my family, and where I came from...you spend so much time with Wynonna and Alice, I just want to know more about where you come from. You won’t tell me anything other than how hard it was to grow up with all your siblings, and how your parents worked too much to pay attention to you...but I find it hard to believe there are no good memories there, no amazing stories to tell.” 

Nicole sighs and hangs her head. She wants to please Waverly. That’s what she always wants. “I don’t know, Waverly.” 

A hand moves to cup the side of Nicole’s face and Waverly ducks her head to make eye contact, “Please. Just this once...for me?” 

Who’s Nicole kidding? She can’t resist Waverly, and maybe this can work to her advantage. If Waverly sees just how utterly insane her family is, maybe she’ll understand why Nicole doesn’t want to have children and drop this whole baby thing for good. She slides her hands around Waverly’s waist and draws her into an embrace. “Just this once,” she says reluctantly. 

A smile spreads over Waverly’s face, and her hands migrate up Nicole’s neck and into her hair. Waverly pulls Nicole into a kiss. 

“Thank you.” 

***

On Christmas Eve the 1967 Ford Mustang GT Fastback in original Acapulco Blue pulls up to Nicole’s childhood home blaring “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” as high as the original factory speakers will go. The look on Nicole’s face says it all. She doesn’t want to be here. Waverly has a different look, and it’s sheer joy as she emerges from the car. She takes a deep breath in and sighs, “Oh Nicole, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to be here with you and your family for Christmas!”

“We’ve only been married three years, Waverly. It hasn’t been that long.”

“Spoilsport. I know we all have our issues with family. Look at me and Wynonna…she was gone for years, YEARS, but when she came back we reconciled, and now we’ve got little Alice and who knows, maybe she and Doc will have more kids someday…” Waverly suggests dreamily.

Nicole snorts, “I’m pretty sure if that was ever a possibility, Wynonna wouldn’t let Doc within ten feet of her!”

“I let you within ten feet of me four or five times a week, Nicole.” Waverly reminds her. Nicole blushes. She’s spent a lot of time lately reminding Waverly that she doesn’t want kids. “No babies,” she says every time they’re naked. How much longer will she have to do that?  _ Ugh _ . At least she doesn’t have to worry about that tonight, she considers, since there will definitely be no hanky-panky in her parent’s house. 

Just then Nancy Haught bursts from the door and down the steps of the front of the house, barreling at full speed towards her middle child. “Nicole! You made it!”

“It’s literally a ten minute drive, Mom,” she dismisses, easing out of Nancy’s hug.

“You’d think it’s ten thousand miles to come see your ole mom and dad. You never visit anymore,” she complains, even as she releases Nicole and makes her way around the car, pulling Waverly into a tight, warm hug. It goes on a bit too long; it makes Nicole uncomfortable.

“Let me look at you,” Nancy coos after finally releasing her grasp. She takes a step back, still holding Waverly’s hands. “Well, don’t you look every bit the angel that you are! I’d say you’re even glowing, if that’s possible!”

“I don’t know about that, Nancy,” Waverly demurs, blushing. 

“Nicole, don’t you think Waverly looks positively radiant?”

“Mom, this isn’t an Aveeno commercial, but yes, Waverly always looks amazing,” she admits. And as she looks at her wife, she does admit that Waverly seems rather glorious. No matter what they’re going through, all the baby talk or not, she’s always going to love Waverly more than anything. And maybe that’s it: Nicole doesn’t need a baby because she can’t even imagine loving anyone more than she loves Waverly Earp.

Nicole realizes she’s lost in a daydream about her wife when a brand new black Mercedes pulls up beside the Mustang. She and Nicole are as different as night and day and Nahla seems to confirm this as she rises gracefully from the passenger side, chic in a deep green sheath dress, a tartan scarf wrapped gracefully around her neck and tucked immaculately in a black peacoat, Louis Vuitton handbag on her arm. 

Her well-manicured husband, Sebastian, rises from the driver’s side at the same time. He wears all black save a heavily-starched white dress shirt. His cufflinks have a diamond setting that reflects off the car as he adjusts his winter coat. He immediately moves to open the back door, a small, almost delicate child appearing seconds later. Priscilla stands dispassionately, her own small designer handbag on her arm, until she sees Nancy.

“Grandma! Grandma! It’s almost Christmas!” she squeals as she runs anxiously towards Nancy, almost pushing Waverly out of the way in her haste to hug her grandmother. 

Nancy leans down and gathers Priscilla up. “How is my favorite granddaughter?”

“Grandma, I’m your only granddaughter!” she corrects. 

“Well, for now, but who knows how long that’ll last. Right, Nicole?” Nancy asks nonchalantly as she turns to go inside. “Get the bags for Waverly, won’t you?”

“Of course, Mother,” Nicole sighs, eyes rolling. It’s not as if she wouldn’t get the bags anyway. 

“I see she hasn’t changed,” Nahla declares as she makes her way over to Nicole. 

“Not one bit.”

Nahla drops the nouveau riche facade then, pulling off her Chanel sunglasses, and slouching a bit in her pristine outfit against Nicole’s Mustang. Nicole subconsciously checks to make sure there’s nothing sharp on Nahla’s wardrobe that would scratch her original paint. “Mom was always like that until we had Priscilla, chiding us for not making her a grandmother yet. We were barely married a year before I got pregnant and sometimes I still wonder if it wasn’t to shut her up a little. I’m sure if you were home more, Mom would be on you too.”

“About what?” Nicole knows about what, she just doesn’t want to admit it.

“Having kids. When are you and Waverly going to start a family?”

“You know, Nahla, that’s kind of rude to ask. What if we can’t have kids? I mean, we’re two women…so it wouldn’t be like…the easiest thing,” Nicole denies. She only wishes it wouldn’t be the easiest thing. Just one night, one slip up, she keeps reminding herself.

“Oh god, Nicky, is that true?! You can’t have kids? Waverly can’t have kids?!” Nahla can’t help but ask even as her face flushes red at the embarrassment of overstepping.

“Stop, Nahla. That’s not the point. The point is, it’s rude to ask. Some people don’t want kids…” she reasons in the most casual manner she can as she picks up the luggage and heads towards the door, leaving Nahla to come to her own conclusions. 

She enters the Haught residence suspiciously. Nancy and Waverly are nowhere to be seen, even through the glare of all the Christmas decorations and the standards playing softly on the stereo. Nicole can take a moment and catch her breath. If the last five minutes are any indication, this entire weekend is going to be overwhelming and insufferable. Thank god she snuck that pack of smokes into her parka this morning before she left.

Just as she pats her jacket pocket for reinforcement, Sebastian, Nahla, and Priscilla all come through the same door with their own luggage and stuffiness. They fork out behind her, Nahla and Priscilla going towards the kitchen, when the door swings open and Nancy and Waverly head back into the family room. Now there’s six people in this small space and that’s about Nicole’s limit. All the chattering and “catching up” and she just keeps thinking that they all live here in Purgatory. How much catching up can there be??

Nicole shrugs her coat off then, hanging it up on the rack in the entryway. She takes the stairs two at a time, tossing both her and Waverly’s bags on her tiny twin bed. 

“How are we supposed to sleep on that?” she grumbles on her way out the door. 

When she comes downstairs, the door to the basement is cracked open just enough to catch Nicole’s eye. 

“I’m going to say high to Nelson...I guess,” she says to no one in particular and slinks away unnoticed. 

The door shuts behind her as she descends the stairs, drowning out all the noise above. Simon and Garfunkel, _ The Sound of Silence, _ croones through Nelson’s old record player in the corner. The room centers around a tiny replica of the entire town of Purgatory spread across a large table. Every detail perfected over the years. Nelson even has a miniature red haired figure standing by a police car outside the model of the Purgatory Police Department. Nicole cringes every time she sees it. 

“Nelson?” Nicole says acknowledging her dad standing to one side of the table slightly leaned over. He appears to be deep in concentration, a skinny paint brush working delicately against a wooden church that he holds under the light. He looks up, his eyes comically large in his magnifying glasses. 

“Nicole,” he smiles. “Your mother said you were coming but I didn’t believe it!” 

He sets the church model aside on the table and pushes his glasses to his forehead before walking over and swallowing Nicole into a tight hug, “It’s good to see you, kiddo.” 

Nicole squirms a little until Nelson releases her. “It’s good to see you too, dad.” 

“How’ve you been? How's work?”

“It’s fine. I’ve been busy.” 

Nelson smacks Nicole’s shoulder with a big grin. “That’s right, because you’re Sheriff now. You know, me and your mother are so proud of you, kiddo.” 

“Right,” Nicole says half-heartedly. “It’s been an adjustment— longer hours, more responsibility, but we’ve managed.”

“Did you bring Waverly?” he asks, looking past her up the staircase. Nicole nods and hooks a thumb over her shoulder. “She’s talking to Nancy...or something, I don't know.” 

“Well, let's go see her. I’d love to hear how her paranormal research is going. Cryptozoology, isn’t it?” A hand pats Nicole on the back encouraging her in the direction of the door. 

Nicole cocks her head a little dumbfounded. “You remembered?” 

Last September, Nancy and Nelson treated Waverly to an early birthday dinner. Waverly spent a good forty-five minutes discussing Winston Felidaious’ investigation of the Beast of Bodmin. Nicole had to leave early to deal with an urgent issue at the station. Waverly came home later with a little pep in her step carrying her binder full of notes under her arm. 

“Of course I did. You know how much I enjoy a good history lesson.” 

“Well, it’s folklore,” Nicole says. 

Of course,she doesn’t believe in folklore any more than Waverly does. Anything is possible in their world, but Nelson’s reality is a little more run-of-the-mill. It was surprising enough that a man of science would take so easily to Waverly’s literal angelic ancestry. He and Nancy both carried on as if Nicole had just announced Waverly got a job at Costco. 

_ “I’ve always sensed Waverly was an angel,”  _ Nancy had said. _ “So kind, and smart. Beautiful too. What a lovely girl, Nicole. Just lovely.”  _

“Shall we?” Nelson gestures to the staircase again and proceeds in its direction.

“Wait,” Nicole says stalling him with a light grip against his shoulder. Admittedly she feels like an ass for leaving Waverly to the wolves, but Waverly  _ did _ ask for this. “Let’s stay down here for a minute.” She scours the room for any excuse to keep her father down here, though most of the time he hardly needs one. This is his safe haven. Tiny Purgatory is his ‘67 Mustang. “I see you’ve been busy...Purgatory has grown.” 

Nelson’s face lights up proudly. He turns his attention over his shoulder at all his hard work. “It’s getting there.” 

That’s what he always says.  _ It’s getting there.  _ It’s been getting there for fifteen years. Then Nicole spots the whiskey in the corner on the tool bench. As casually as she can she ambles past the table dragging a hand along the very edge, but careful not to ruffle the fabric grass. Nelson’s particular about the landscaping.

Nelson follows her and continues to admire his work. “I just ordered a new part for the Purgatory Express. She was out of commission, you know...three months it’s been.” 

“Hmm,” Nicole nods within reach of the whisky now. “I’m sure Tiny Purgatory will be happy to know she’s in working order again. I can’t imagine how the bar patrons at little Shorty’s felt without their shipments of tinsy-winsy whiskeys.” 

Nelson giggles patting the side of the table like a well trained dog. That’s when Nicole notices the tiny barn. It resembles the one on the back end of the family property. Two little goats linger in the grass just outside the door.  _ Huh, that’s new.  _ Nicole thinks. She half considers asking about it but figures it would take her down a rabbit hole with Nelson.

“...speaking of whiskey.” Nicole seizes the bottle and unscrews the lid. She locates two small plastic cups on the tool bench. One may have remnants of acrylic paint...but what’s a little paint with her liquor? She’ll take what she can get tonight. “How about a toast?” 

The plastic cups barely hold a full shot as she fills them nearly to the brim. Nicole offers one to Nelson. 

“To whiskey, scotch, and rye,” Nelson says, and raises the drink to his lips. No one said he was sentimental. 

Nicole downs her shot and pours a second before Nelson finishes the first. Nelson abandons his cup on the tool bench and leans on his hands, palms flat against the edge of the table. “Did I ever tell you how the post office used to be a train depot?” 

“ _ Yes _ Nelson…” Nicole kicks back her second shot with an eye roll and mutters to herself, “about five-thousand times.” 

“The first train in Purgatory, known then as the 77 Maine, carried its first passengers in 1862. It was no Purgatory Express. Just a simple steam engine designed by Adalbert Swatsenbarrel.”

Nicole picks up the whiskey and guzzles her next shot directly from the bottle. How is this his go-to story? Of all the history Purgatory has to offer, Nelson choses the post office.

“The 77 Maine carried forty-four passengers all the way to—”

“What’s with the goats?” Nicole says, in her eager attempt to change the subject. 

“Nelson!” A voice shrills down the stairwell startling them both. “Is Nicky down there?” 

Nicole shakes her head begging Nelson not to rat her out, but he doesn’t even notice and he would never lie to Nancy even if he did. 

“Nicky’s right here, Snookums.” 

“Nicole, what are you doing down there? You’ve hardly said a word to your sister and your brother is eager to see you. Get up here.” 

Nicole groans and retires the whiskey back to the tool case, “I’ll be right there.” 

She trudges upstairs, through the kitchen to the dining room, where immediately she freezes. 

“Hey there, baby sister.” 

Nash, Nicole’s older brother, sits casually sprawled out in a chair, one arm draped over the back, a dusty old Stetson propped on his head and a toothpick hanging loosely from his lips. Those dirty ripped Levi’s belted tight to his middle, tucked in plain white tee, and faded cowboy boots are, in Nicole’s opinion, cringy. There’s no missing the long skinny overly-tanned legs belonging to the blonde woman sitting on his thigh with her breasts practically spilling from her tank top, and her arm slung around his neck. She doesn’t look much older than eighteen.  _ Just no. _

Nicole merely grunts out her response. “Hi.” 

“Well, how’ve you been? I haven’t hardly seen you since you got married.” He leans forward a little and reaches for the beer on the table in front of him. The blonde woman shifts her weight against him. “Where’s that pretty young thing anyway?” 

“Watch it,” Nicole snaps. 

“All right Nicky, no need to get your panties in a bunch. I’m just trying to make friendly conversation with my kid sister. Shoot me for wanting to know how things are going,” he says, then mumbles against his beer can, “Mrs. Fancypants Sheriff.” 

“It’s been fine...great actually. Me and Waverly just got back from Greece...spent a lot of time on the beaches. Waverly got a gorgeous tan,” Nicole reminisces, “and well, I got a sunburn. But it was fun. Zero complaints coming from over here.” 

Nash squints his eyes, nodding as he takes his beer to his lips again. No verbal response.

“How about you?” Nicole asks to break the silence. 

More nodding, then he smacks the blonde woman on the ass, seemingly for no reason, “Candy baby, go get me another beer, darlin.” 

Candy slides from his lap and adjust her denim shorts, if they can be considered shorts, more like underwear with fringe, and plants a sloppy wet kiss on his lips. “Of course, baby.” 

Nicole watches her pass, wondering why in the hell she's dressed for Cancun in the summer.

“Things have been good with the custody battle out of the way. Angus has really taken a liking to Candy. She’s a natural with kids.” 

Nicole pivots and points behind her where Candy disappeared into the kitchen, “Candy?”

“Mhm.” 

“Very...sophisticated,” she lies. 

“Not everyone gets to marry an angel...but Candy...she’s the closest thing I’ll ever get to one. She’s my soulmate.”

“Please,” Nicole snorts. 

A hand lightly squeezes her elbow, distracting her from the need to argue her brother’s half-baked declaration. Nash can’t possibly think Candy is his soulmate. The notion is laughable. Just ridiculous. It’s another Barbie situation waiting to happen. 

Nicole twists to catch Waverly creeping up beside her, “Hey, I’ve been looking for you for...well, since we got here. You just disappeared.” 

“I know I’m sorry…Nelson needed me,” Nicole lies.

A long obnoxious whistle drops from Nash’s lips. He takes off his dusty old Stetson and sets it on the table, “Definitely prettier than I remember,” he drawls.

Nicole gets increasingly more irritated. Her brother is known for spewing out an endless stream of lewd comments— cat calling, sexual innuendos, he violates every line in the sexual harassment handbook. No filter on that mouth and Nicole will have none of it directed towards her wife. “I said watch it!”

“Woah!” Nash puts his hands up defensively, “I’m just trying to give your girl a compliment. That’s all.” 

“Compliment, my ass. I know what your MO is, dude.”

“Nicole!” Waverly chides, “He’s just being nice.” 

“You don’t know how he is Waverly. You didn’t grow up with him or have to deal with him hitting on your girlfriends all your life.You know how many jobs he’s lost from being such a skeez?” 

“Okay,” Waverly says, and grabs a hold of Nicole’s face pulling their foreheads together, “We are going to have a nice time here. I  _ want _ to have a nice time, which means you need to simmer down.”

“I’m sorry,” Nicole says. “It’s just, I know him and I know how he is. You deserve respect, Waverly, not to be gawked at by some Charlie Sheen in a dirty Stetson.”

Waverly lifts a finger to Nicole’s lips, shushing her. Her face softens and she smiles before angling her chin and pressing a kiss to Nicole’s lips. “No one's hitting on me except you. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Nicole nods.

Then Waverly smacks her lips together questioning Nicole with a look. “Have you been drinking?” 

“Uh—“

“Nelson, you still have your googly eyes on your forehead,” Nancy calls before she waltzes into the dining room. Angus bounces on her hip, all pudgy cheeks, and drooly hands. “Oh good, Nicky, you're here.”

Waverly raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Nicky?” 

Turns out Nicky is easier to say than Nicole, to a two year old. It’s a stupid nickname that the twins started when they were babies, and it stuck. No matter how much Nicole has protested, she has never been able to shake it. She’s tried everything from begging, sending out formal letters, and eventually she just waited for her mother to yell, “ _ Nicole Rayleigh Haught” _ , before responding. 

“I don’t know who that is,” Nicole says, and shrugs. 

“The twins should be down any minute. They can’t wait to see you. It’s all they’ve been talking about for a week.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Nicole grumbles. 

Waverly bounces on her toes, a little too overzealous to meet the little rascals, in Nicole’s opinion. It seems as though the twins are who she’s most excited to meet. Nicole doesn’t share her enthusiasm. What’s Waverly’s fascination with twins anyway?

“Nash, your father needs help with the cable again. I don’t know what he does to the damn thing, but I swear, I listen to him cursing at the static all day long.” 

Nash fits the Stetson back to his head and rises to his feet. “Yes ma’am.” He taps his fingers along Angus’s side as he passes stirring out a wet giggle, and a little drool rolls down Angus’s chin. Nicole grimaces.

“That’s my boy,” he coos. “Daddy’s gonna be right back.” 

“I have to go check on the yams. Nicole honey, take Angus for me, will you? Get to know your nephew.” 

Nicole stiffens, caught off guard by the baby thrust against her chest, drooly hands pawing at her button-up, she holds him out like Simba. He feels awkward in her hands, and she fumbles to get a comfortable grip. What does she do with his head? Is she supposed to hold the head? Panicked and nervous, she immediately passes Angus along to Waverly, dodging that bullet, as Nancy exits to the kitchen.

“What a tool,” Nicole sighs. “Have you  _ seen _ his girlfriend?” 

“Wow,” Waverly breathes, staring into baby Angus’s big brown eyes. She bounces him on her hip mimicking Nancy, much more confident than Nicole. Tiny fingers wrap around her pointer finger and Angus shakes it like a rattle. Something resembling love dawns over Waverly’s face and her eyes light up like Nancy’s Christmas tree in the living room.

“Control your baby heart, Waverly.”

This is what Nicole was afraid of. That Waverly would get her hands on some roly poly little baby and fall in love with the idea of having one of her own even more. Sure, Angus is kind of adorable and maybe he’d look cute in all kinds of tiny little outfits, but Nicole is more than prepared to whip out her laundry list of reasons why she doesn't want a baby. 

“He kind of looks like you, Nicole. It’s his eyes. And look at all this hair,” Waverly practically squeals, holding Angus closer now, kissing his cheeks while he attempts to teethe on her finger. 

“All babies look the same, Waverly.”

“I don’t appreciate your sassmouth, Nicole.” 

“I’m just saying,” Nicole shrugs. 

“I know. You hate babies. You don’t have to keep reminding me and just because  _ you’re _ a big old...Christmas Grinch, doesn’t mean I mean have to be.” 

Nicole fully intends to defend her Grinchism, she’s earned it over many long years of being the middle child, having to deal with a backwards older brother and a stick-up-her-butt older sister, sandwiched between them and the…and that’s when she hears it, an airhorn screeching from the top of the stairs. Everyone automatically covers their ears and Angus cries out in pain and fear. A foot, stuck straight out, appears and takes the first step down. 

“And now, I present to you, your Christmas king…” Noelle’s voice echoes off the ceiling. Does she have a megaphone? Nicole wonders, surely their voices are not louder than she remembers.  _ Surely. _

Noah steps down from the landing in a spotted white fur and red velvet robe. He’s carrying a scepter. So help me god, he better not have a crown, Nicole threatens, but seconds later his head appears, adorned with a matching crown of fur and sparkling jewels. Nicole rolls her eyes so hard she thinks they might fall out of her head. The airhorn sounds again as Noah plants two feet on the second step and turns to reach out for Noelle.

“My Lady,” he says as he takes a hand, Noelle Haught stepping out from the top of the staircase in a matching velvet robe. She also has a crown, absent of fur, but garish in the large fake jewels it holds. She pumps the airhorn twice more before moving with Noah slowly and gracefully down the stairs, full of pomp.

The first blast of the airhorn was a lot for Angus’s baby ears, the second creating more anxiety than a one year old can hold, and these final two bursts push him over the edge. His face scrunches up, blotting red, streaks already down his face from the initial tears, and he gives a bellow of a cry in defense before launching into a full-blown wail. He writhes against Waverly at first, but then seeks solace in her arms, pushing his damp face desperately against her neck. She hugs him close and coos into his ear to calm him. 

Nicole looks away just as Waverly places a hand on her arm, “See his diaper bag? Hand me a bottle. He’s irritable and sleepy.”

“Aren’t we all?” mumbles Nicole even as she reaches down and pulls out the blue baby bottle and attempts to hand it to Waverly.

“Take the cap off,” Waverly commands, her voice quiet but forceful. Angus is just now slowing the hiccup of cries against her slight form and Waverly reassures him with a hand on his back, rubbing soothingly. 

Nicole pulls the cap off the bottle and hands it to Waverly numbly. She doesn’t know what to do and she doesn’t really want to learn. Angus looks sweaty and weak and Waverly is only focused on calming him down. Nicole is only focused on the rage she feels every time the twins commandeer the attention of everyone in the family. Waverly ignores Nicole’s seething anger and pops the bottle into Angus’s mouth like a pro, swaying and rocking him until he’s content. 

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Nicole what a natural Waverly is at all this so far and how she herself would fail miserably at being a parent. She grimaces at the idea, just as the twins distract her from her daydream, her nightmare really, by working the room, introducing themselves as “King and Queen Haught” and bestowing their majesty on the family.

Just as Noah makes his way over to Nicole, his nose pointed too high, his chin jutting out as he appraises the peasant in front of him, a “Nicolas…” on his tongue, Nancy pours from the kitchen doors, beelining right to him, her peels of delight overshadowing Nicole’s acrid response of “that is a dude’s name and don’t you dare call me Nicky.”

“Oh look at my sweet babies! You look so commanding, so noble…” Nancy announces as Noelle elbows past Noah, both of them constantly vying for their mother’s affection. “My queen! My king! Where are your three wise men?” 

Noah crooks a finger over his shoulder. “I guess Nicky can count with Nash and Sebastian since she has a wife too.”

“Nash and Candy aren’t married, are they?” queries Nicole, but no one responds. She throws up her hands in sheer frustration. No one ever answers her questions. No one ever hears her. How can Waverly possibly think that a baby would make that better? Waverly listens, really listens, and that’s all she’s ever going to need, not some kid constantly distracting her beautiful perfect wife,  _ like right now _ , Nicole grumbles as she looks across the room to see Waverly sitting with Angus against her chest sleeping. 

Just as she’s about to walk across the room for her parka and smokes, her dad pats her back, gazing over her shoulder to the same scene she was just refusing to be cajoled into, but with which he is enamored. “Wow, she looks good with a baby, Nicole. You two thinking about having kids?”

Nicole scoffs, “Nope. I think suffering through the eternal adolescence of Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum over there is enough to last me a lifetime.” 

Nelson cocks his head thoughtfully to the side, slowly making the connection. “You mean the twins?…Well, they’re just indulged because they’re the youngest. Don’t think you all didn’t have your day in the sun, Nicole. Maybe you don’t quite remember it anymore, but you did. Noah and Noelle just got the last of it, so they’re trying to drag that shit out as long as they can.”

Nicole tries to understand, she does. She knows the twins were coddled and doted upon and that wasn’t their fault. That was her parents, and everyone else, who were always, “ _ OH TWINS _ ” whenever they went to fairs or the grocery store or even Christmas Mass after Nancy and Nelson spent six months “finding God”. 

Just as she’s making her way across the family room, towards the parka that holds the brief respite of her stashed smokes, Nancy appears in her path, “Nicole! Have you heard about the twins new venture? I’m just so proud of all the time and effort Noah has put into the goats and Noelle has put into the yoga program.”

“Goats?” Nicole coughs, even as she remembers the random appearance of the pygmies in Nelson’s diorama.  _ Goats _ , she confirms to herself.

“Goats!” Noah declares at the same time. 

“You’re raising goats? Selling goats? Making goat’s milk?” All the possibilities run through Nicole’s mind at once, but the real question repeating in her brain is just  _ what the fuck are the twins doing with goats? _

Noah begins to speak, but Nancy cuts him off in her vigilant pride, “They’ve started a goat yoga studio, Nicky! They have some regular customers already, right Noelle?”

Noelle perks up then a bit. Nicole can tell the goats are not her favorite part of the whole entrepreneurial venture. She smiles coyly waiting to see what her baby sister says. “Regular customers, ay?”

“We have someone coming every day of the week,” Noelle confirms almost hesitantly. 

Noah blurts out, “Oh I’ll bet he’s coming.”

“Noah James Haught!! You behave yourself! This is polite company! My goodness, there’s a baby over there,” Nancy charges. “No son of mine is going to say dirty things in the presence of ladies.”

“You do know you have two sons, Mom?” questions Noelle, as if everyone can just ignore Nash being sexist and disrespectful because he’s not in the room. 

“Noelle has a point there,” Nicole agrees, “…but I suppose…” she hesitates, how much does she want to invest? “Tell me more about this goat studio.”

Even as Nicole listens, she sees her wife across the room, and Waverly seems mesmerized with how innocent and soft Angus is as he sleeps. She keeps the bottle close by, but he hasn’t reached for it in about ten minutes. He has reached for Waverly in his sleep, his tiny hands grasping locks of her hair or her sweater, so she keeps a finger close for him to grab a hold on for comfort. 

“You look like a natural, Waverly,” Nahla appraises as she comes to stand in front of her, leaning down to see that Angus is as content as he seemed from across the room. “Babies know when they’re wanted, when they’re being cared for. I remember there would be days when I’d want to go insane, but Priscilla could make me realign my priorities with just a smile, a hug, anything really when they’re this age,” she motions to the baby now sleeping soundly in Waverly’s arms. 

“Priscilla is an amazing kid,” Waverly remarks, watching fondly as the six-year-old starts to run around the room haphazardly, her incessant “CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS IT’S CHRISTMAS” reaching new octaves each time she circles her mother and aunt.

“Knock it off, Priscilla! We all know it’s Christmas!! That’s why we’re here!” shouts Nahla above the ruckus, turning in the same instant to Waverly as if she was never distracted, “Yeah, they’re great most times.”

Waverly laughs and Nahla seems confused for a second, but refocuses on Priscilla who continues to run around the family room, now dragging her chubby hand on every surface and touching people as she goes, until finally Nahla grabs her hand and yanks her into their circle, “Priscilla, STOP running around. It’s just Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is Christmas and you can undertake your grand announcements again before we open presents, okay?” 

Priscilla quiets then, though Nicole isn’t sure it’s from the explanation or the death grip that Nahla has fashioned on her arm, and the youngster ponders the instructions for just a moment before she drops to the floor beside them, into her own fantasy world, grabbing two dolls who begin their own conversation about what else, but Christmas.

Nicole has been stunned to silence, in the last few minutes she’s learned about the goat yoga studio that the twins have founded and are currently underwater on. Nancy says this part under her breath and Noah quickly dismisses it with the explanation that they had to put a lot of money into the business up front. 

“Just like when you start any business?” Nicole asks rhetorically.

“Of course,” Noelle says, “But Jimmy is giving us advertising for free so-“

“I don’t think it’s free when you’re schtupping him, sis.” chides Noah.

The thought of Nicole’s baby sister having sex with anyone is a lot for her to comprehend. She has only ever thought of Noelle and Noah as petulant children, coddled, and so the idea that they’re somehow adults, undertaking a business venture is beyond her understanding. She doesn’t have long to comprehend it before Waverly is wading through family members towards her on a mission.

“Take the baby,” Waverly says, even as she moves to hand Nicole the sleeping boy.

“What? Waverly, I don’t want to hold him.”

“I’m not asking Nicole. Nahla had to go help your mom in the kitchen and god knows where Candy is. I have to pee. It’ll take five minutes. He’s sleeping; he won’t even know you’re holding him if you don’t act all Nervous-Nelly about it!” Waverly commands as she dumps Angus into Nicole’s arms and hurries towards the hall, leaving Nicole dumbfounded.

As if he could sense it, Angus wiggles in Nicole’s arms, and upon recognition that warm cuddly Waverly is no longer the one holding him, the shock of a stranger pushes him to whimper at first, soon erupting into a fussy scowl. Nicole knows it’s mere seconds before she’s going to have a very disgruntled baby in her hands.

“Ah,” Nicole grunts in a panic. “What do I do?”

“Maybe he’s hungry,” Noah offers.

“I don’t think so. Waverly just fed him.” 

“Oh, then he probably needs to be burped.” Noelle suggests. 

“How do I do that?” 

“Just give him a little pat on the back.” 

“Um...okay,” Nicole says and begins to awkwardly pat Angus’s back. 

It doesn’t take long until the crying subsides, and Nicole, surprised with her own satisfaction, sways the baby in time. 

Then without any warning a frothy stream of warm baby formula splatters Nicole’s chin and dribbles all down the front of her button-up. Flabbergasted, she freezes, staring into the eyes of little Angus. 

“Eeew,” Priscilla says, her disgust barely audible over the twins roaring laughter. 

“What the fuck?” Nicole growls.

“You watch your mouth in front of the baby, Nicole,” Nahla chides.

_ Mouth _ . Something is in her mouth, and it doesn’t belong there. “Oh my god! I can taste it,” she shouts smacking her lips together. “Waverly!” Perfect timing, Waverly wanders back into the dinning room, pausing at the end of the hallway. “Waverly take it! I can’t do it. I”m going to puke too.”

Waverly shakes her head retreating slowly back down the hallway. There’s just as much shock on her face, and a mixture of something else Nicole can’t quite figure out. 

“I can’t,” she whispers. 

“Waverly please,” Nicole insists inching a little closer. 

No one else makes an effort to help her in spite of Nicole’s frantic attempts to pass the baby off, to Waverly, to Nahla, to the twins doubled over with laughter, to anyone able so she can just wipe off her damn chin.

Priscilla tugs on Nahla’s arm, face all twisted up. “Baby Angus throwed up in Auntie Nicole’s mouth.” 

Waverly covers her mouth as if she were about to be sick too, before spinning the other way and bolting down the hallway into the bathroom. The door barely latches behind her. The unmistakable sound of someone retching echoes back into the dining room.

“Dear lord, Nicole,” Nahla says and practically rips Angus from her arms. “Go clean yourself up. You’re ridiculous.” 

“It was in my mouth,” Nicole mutters, and only she can hear how pathetic she sounds. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Nahla says to Angus and leads Priscilla into the kitchen. Noah and Noelle follow close behind taking their snickering with them. 

Confused as to why Waverly is the one ralphing when Nicole is covered in what she hopes is not Barbie’s breast milk, Nicole shuffles down the hallway to the bathroom, shoulders slumped with embarrassment. She taps the door lightly with her knuckle causing it to shift open a crack.

“Waves?” 

“Go away!” Waverly’s voice echoes out from the ceramic dome of the toilet. It’s followed by a pitiful sniffle. 

“I’m just going to come in and see that you’re alright, okay? Then I’ll leave if you still want me to…after I wipe off my face,” she adds and slips through the crack in the door making sure it’s latched properly behind her. 

What a dismal display Waverly makes, with her arm slung over the toilet, forehead resting against it, and lazy tears trailing down her pinkened cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” 

She shakes her head. 

Nicole yanks the hand towel off the hook by the sink and uses it to wipe off her mouth, her neck, and pats down the front of her shirt. She still smells like baby puke. 

“Do you want to tell me why you’re crying over the toilet? Are you still sick?” 

“No,” Waverly snorts and takes in a shaky breath holding in the beginning of a sob. 

The hand towel is discarded in the sink, and Nicole sighs. She kneels on the floor in front of Waverly, combing her fingers through damp hair, and studies her wife’s forlorn expression. “What do you need? How can I help you right now?” 

“I thought I could do it, you know? That maybe I could even be good at it, because I  _ want _ it  _ so _ bad,” Waverly shakes her head again visibly trying to hold herself together. “But I can’t.” 

“You can’t do you what, baby?” 

Waverly scoffs and pushes away from the toilet bowl and away from Nicole. “Baby,” she echoes. “I thought I could be good at taking care of a baby...I mean with Alice it seemed so easy, but it turns out, I can’t even handle a little spit up.” 

Nicole plucks at her soiled shirt. “Oh baby, that was more than a little spit up.” 

“You don’t get it,” Waverly dismisses. 

“Listen,” Nicole says situating herself on the floor with her legs parted, she drags Waverly close between them. She brushes aside a few damp locks of wavy brown hair and tucks them gracefully behind Waverly’s ear. “Baby, I think you’re capable of anything you want. You’re the most capable person I know. Even more than me,” she laughs. “So what, you’re a sympathetic puker, big deal. I don’t think that means you’re not capable of being a mother.” 

“Really?” 

By the way Waverly’s face lights up, Nicole knows she’s made a mistake choosing those words. There’s hope in that smile spreading across Waverly’s face so big it crinkles around those half moon eyes.  _ Shit. _

Nicole lifts a hand to clarify waving it between them. “ Now, that doesn’t—” 

“Nicole!” Nancy interrupts with her hollering, “I need you!” 

“Jesus Christ!” Nicole snaps. 

Before Nicole can say anything else, Waverly rushes forward, arms thrown over Nicole’s shoulders in a tight embrace. Nicole nearly tips over backward, just barely catching herself with one arm extended behind her, and the other gripping Waverly’s hip. 

“Thank you,” Waverly says. 

“For what?” 

“For just being you.” 

Nicole smiles and her arm slips around Waverly’s waist.

“Nicole?” 

“Yes, love?” 

“You still smell like baby puke,” Waverly mumbles into the crook of Nicole’s neck. Not the most romantic words she’s ever whispered there. She’s not wrong. Nicole smells it too. Waverly releases Nicole’s shirt where she has twisted the fabric in her fist and leans back. “I'm sorry baby, but you have to go. Your shirt’s making me sick.” 

“I know,” Nicole groans. 

“Nicole!” Nancy hollars again.

“What!?” Nicole shouts back. 

“I need you to get the turkey out of the freezer in the garage.” 

Nicole closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, letting it back out slow and controlled, before opening her eyes again. 

“Hey,” Waverly says, and a hand moves to cup Nicole’s chin. “It’s going to be okay.” 

Nicole wants to pull Waverly in and hold her close just a little while longer. That doesn’t look like an option. Waverly’s face scrunches up and loses color. So much so that Nicole even leans back a little to avoid a second round. 

“Now go change your shirt,” Waverly says, then adds, “Please, I love you.” 

*** __

Nicole freezes on the doorstep, hands tucked deep in the front pocket of her coat, her eyes follow the footprints from one end of the sidewalk and down the driveway where they stop abruptly. The snow is fresh, the previous traffic has since washed away, and Nicole is pretty sure no one else has wandered out into the cold. 

Still suspicious, she takes a cautious step forward off the doorstep. The snow crunches noisily under her boots and she pauses, scanning the front yard for movement. So far so good, she takes another step and another, each step feeling a little more confident. 

Approaching the end of the walkway now, the door to the detached garage is in sight. She just has to make it past the driveway. Her next steps seems to trigger a familiar sniggering. At first she freezes. Maybe if she doesn’t move they won’t see her, though she knows that’s ridiculous. She’s hardly hiding. 

The sniggering stops. It’s silent. It’s probably just her imagination, childhood traumas getting the better of her. “Don’t be so weird, Nicole,” she mumbles to herself, and forces her foot forward. 

BAM! A snowball explodes against her chest and before she can complain, another pelts her in the face, the crystal cold drips down her neck and into the collar of her shirt. Nicole groans like she’s been shot as a third snowball paints the front of the Mustang.

_ Not the Mustang! _

“Alright! Very funny you guys,” Nicole says, and she takes one to the back of her head. “Son of a—”

Nicole swivels around trying to pinpoint a location, but damn, they’re like hyenas, they’re all around her. A snowball shatters at her feet and she follows it with her eyes to the far end of the Mercedes.

“Hah!” 

Nicole makes a piss-poor attempt at bolting down the driveway toward Noah rolling up more amo. The night’s gotten cold, snow has turned to ice, and Nicole loses all traction. She lands hard on her ass, arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. 

“Come on! Someone put some salt on this thing,” she groans.

That’s not enough torture for one night, no, Noah and Noelle spring from hiding, and before Nicole can prop up on her elbows, she’s got a twin at each leg dragging her right into a mountain of snow. 

If she thought her neck was cold then, now her everything is cold. She’s got snow in cringeworthy places. Someone lands on top of her, knees either side of her stomach, and soon it’s just a tangle of arms and legs in a tornado of snow. Nicole can’t see for shit. Are they trying to wrestle with her or are they trying to kill her?

“Get off of me!” Nicole finally yells and burst from the snow. Two giggling bodies slough off of her and she doesn’t look back. 

As much as she wants to go back into the house and beg Waverly to go home, she has a job to do, and Nancy isn’t going to let her come back empty-handed. Nicole marches toward the garage swatting off the remnants of war from her pants and her coat. 

The door sticks, but with a little shoulder she’s able to work her way in, and, “Dear god, what is that?” 

_ What is  _ **_that_ ** _? _

Standing here, staring at it, thinking about all the horrible things that have happened here, she wants to run. Waverly would understand if she left, right? No child should have to see  _ this  _ in their parents garage. 

Nicole manages to shuffle around it to the freezer and blindly fumble for the big ass turkey that Nancy picked out. She doesn’t stay a second longer, her retinas are already permanently damaged. She takes that turkey and hightails it out of there.

“Waverly,” Nicole pants, when she finds her in the dining room with Candy and Angus. Both of them hunched over the baby smiling with adoration while Candy holds a bottle to his mouth. Waverly stands when she sees Nicole approaching with the turkey. 

“Hey,” she says. 

Nicole lowers her voice so only Waverly can hear and glances around wide-eyed and traumatized. If the others only knew what their parents are capable of. “Waverly, something terrible has happened.” 

“What? Nicole? Are you okay?” Waverly says, hands reaching out to Nicole, as her eyes scan for injuries. 

Nicole lowers her voice even more. “I can’t tell you here.”

“Okay,” Waverly says with a mixture of suspicion and concern.

Nicole signals Waverly into the living room with a tilt of her head lugging the turkey along with her. Waverly glances at the turkey with a disgusted look on her face but follows. 

“Nicole? What’s wrong?” she repeats. 

“I was just trying to get the turkey, you know? But, the twins—” 

Waverly laughs, “I saw you playing with them out there. It was cute.” 

“I wasn’t playing, Waverly. I was attacked!” 

“Don’t be so dramatic. They love you,” Waverly says sweetly and reaches for Nicole’s arm, but withdraws. Judging by the look on her face the turkey is too great of a barrier to overcome, even for love. 

“No Waverly, that’s not it,” Nicole protests. 

“Okay, you need to calm down.” 

“Don’t Taylor Swift me right now.” 

Waverly shakes her head, hands waving through the air emphasising her point. “Why are you being like this? You know, I don’t—”

“My parents have a sex swing!” Nicole blurts, her cheeks instantly hot with horror and embarrassment. 

“What?” Waverly chuckles in disbelief.

“My parents have a sex swing,” Nicole repeats softer. “In the garage. I saw it when I went to get the turkey.” 

Waverly stares at her quietly for a moment, then shrugs, “Well, so what? They’re adults.” 

“So what?”

How does Waverly not understand the perversity here? Anyone would be traumatized walking in on that contraption in their parent’s garage. Even Waverly would be affected if it were Michelle, wouldn’t she? 

“Nicole! Where’s my turkey?” Nancy hollers. Always with the hollering. 

“What do I do, Waverly?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Nicole starts to panic and the turkey suddenly feels heavy. She looks to Waverly for direction. “I can’t. I can’t look her in the eye, now.” 

“Nicole!” 

“Just go, you’re being silly.” Waverly argues and ushers Nicole along.

Nicole walks swiftly into the kitchen and places the turkey by the awaiting pan without making eye contact with Nancy. Her mother is just distracted enough with mixing the final ingredients for the stuffing that she barely acknowledges Nicole’s presence. Small miracles, Nicole considers as she quietly backs out of the kitchen and sneaks upstairs to change her clothes. 

Nicole can’t decide if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that alcohol is the quickest way to warm up after the deluge of snow inflicted upon her by the twins. When she’s finally changed out of the wet clothes, she pumps herself up. Just another hour, Nicole. You can do this. She squares her shoulders and returns to the family room where the twins, still in their same clothes, probably not even wet or cold Nicole thinks with disgust, are concocting holiday boozy drinks. She’s just making her way to the bar when Waverly comes into the room, her face alighting in a smile as she approaches Nicole.

“Why’d you change?”

“Did you see me when I told you about...about the  **_thing_ ** ? I was soaking wet from ‘playing’ with the twins, as you so lovingly called it.”

“It was cute. They adore you, Nicole.” 

Nicole clears her throat, “I was  **assaulted** by the twins, Waverly. There was snow, a  _ lot _ of snow,” she motions down her body, “everywhere.”

Waverly raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Fine, don’t believe me, but I was cold and wet. I am still cold, and I am now going to have a drink.” Nicole’s over it. She’s suffered enough today and she just has to get through this last hour. Waverly will just have to understand.

Waverly immediately dismisses her, “Fine, do what you like,”

“Do you want anything? Whiskey sour perhaps, or an eggnog with rum?”

Waverly turns green for a split-second, Nicole swears she sees her retch in the slightest. “Still not over that whole baby barfing into my mouth thing from earlier today? Yeah, me either.”

Waverly ignores Nicole and she bites back, “Actually, I’ve got a headache from all the chatter and your incessant complaining about your family, Nicole. I think I’ll pass tonight.”

Nicole is hurt, but she knows it’s the truth. She hasn’t been the easiest to abide with today, or hell, ever since she found out they were attending “Christmas with the Haughts” as Waverly calls it, and she’s not about to change now. If Waverly knew one shred of the shit she’s had to deal with for thirty years, she wouldn’t be nearly as excited to be here. “Suit yourself,” she huffs, even as she tries to reign in her frustration.

Waverly ignores Nicole and makes her way across the family room to see Candy rocking Angus to sleep. She pushes fingers through his literally baby-fine hair and smoothes her hand up his little back. Nicole can’t see what Waverly is saying, but she sees Candy’s face and that says it all: Waverly and her baby heart are back in top form.

When Nicole finally disconnects from the train wreck of hormones spilling into the room, she returns to the mission at hand. She’d discovered her corresponding drink of choice, the Mustang, years ago, right after graduation when the bartender she was sleeping with had suggested she have one to go with her car obsession. It’s simple and light and she can front load with vodka if she’s had a day. And boy, has she had a day. She takes a long sip, ignoring the chortles of the twins as they haphazardly measure Nancy and Nelson’s expensive liqueurs into fancy steins full of god only knows what, but three of the glasses most definitely hold Kool-Aid. Nicole grimaces. What a waste. 

She takes her drink just in time to see Nelson, Sebastian and Nash make their way up from the basement, Nelson regaling them with the splendor of the Purgatory General Store, the oldest establishment outside the Puritan church in Purgatory. They look stoned, Nicole thinks, and she wonders if they’ll even need a drink to relax before heading to bed. 

That is answered soon enough as Sebastian stirs himself a dry martini, also ignoring the twins, and takes one to Nahla, who has mysteriously appeared beside Candy now. She is offering instructions on sleeping babies, Nicole can hear from eight feet away. Words spritz between the three like “late nap times” and “caffeine consumption” and Nicole’s favorite, “bumpy” which is apparently an adult-coined word for any child’s favorite stuffed animal. “ _ Bumpy _ ” she repeats to herself amused.

Suddenly Nash is at her side. “Would ya look at that? Our ladies are bonding, Nicky.”

“Waverly will bond with anyone over babies,” Nicole remarks absently. It’s true, doesn’t matter where they’re at, she’s like a baby-seeking missile.

“Hey now, Nicky, I was just going to say they look like they’re friends and that’s cool. Candy doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends,” he stops and starts again, “I mean, girls who are friends, not girlfriends like you had in high school.”

“Definitely not the same thing, Nash. See the girlfriends I had…”

But Nash cuts her off, “I mean, two really hot women, talking all secretive, I could just stare at their lips all day, and their boobs, and their ass, and their-”

Nicole’s voice rises steadily as she realizes what’s going on. “Nash, are you looking at my wife like she’s a piece of meat?” 

“Nicky, your wife is HOT. How do you expect people not to look? Even with Angus, she’s a smokin’ little mama. Bet if you could knock that up, she’d be preggers already, am I right?” he suggests, and actually elbows Nicole like she’s in the boy’s club.

Nicole turns up the martini glass and kills the remainder of her drink, slamming it down so hard on the bar that it cracks. She doesn’t care. There’s been enough of...well, everything, today. She can’t take Nash looking seductively at her wife, or that Waverly is baby-crazy. She didn’t even want to be here, but yet, it’s Christmas Eve and Waverly has gotten her way for this entire holiday. The thought that she’s probably going to get her baby eventually flashes across Nicole’s mind and it’s too much. Marching across the room, she yanks her parka off the coat rack and announces to no one in particular, “I’m going out for some fresh air!”

She’s barely down the front stoop before she’s pulling the pack of cigarettes and lighter from her pocket. She flicks the bic and takes a deep drag. “Sweet mercies,” she whispers to herself, “I’m never going to survive Christmas Day.”

***

Nicole frowns at the neatly made twin bed. The new sheets Nancy picked out are dotted with cats in Christmas hats, rolling around with colored ornaments. “I don’t know how we’re both going to fit.” 

“We’ll just be really snuggly,” Waverly chirps as she peels down the top cover and slides in. 

“Fine whatever you say, after this day all I want to do is go to sleep,” Nicole pouts.

Waverly snuggles into Nicole’s side and drapes an arm over her chest. There’s not any room for distance. She presses a kiss to Nicole’s temple, and another to her cheek, and another. “Or…” 

Nicole turns her head to face Waverly bumping their noses together. She goes a little cross eyed focusing on green hazel. “I thought you said you had a headache.”

Waverly’s hand moves to cup Nicole’s jaw and she smiles playfully. “I guess it’s gone now,” she husks. 

“Oh yeah?” Nicole says, pressing forward into a kiss. Waverly nods. Her fingers knot in Nicole’s t-shirt encouraging her to get closer, if that’s even possible in this bed.

“No babies,” Nicole mumbles against Waverly’s lips and rolls them both so she’s bridged over her. Waverly answers with a soft hum and her legs wrap tight around Nicole’s hips. Dainty fingers tangle in Nicole’s hair pulling her into a hot kiss and Nicole sighs into it.

Things are good between them. _Perfect_ even. Nicole doesn’t want to ruin that with a baby, and end up raising a dickhead like Nash, or a goody-two-shoes like Nahla, or worse...Nicole shutters...the twins. She wants to invest all her love and devotion into Waverly, give _Waverly_ everything. 

“Have you been smoking?” Waverly says, breaking the kiss.

“Um no...nope. Definitely not.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Nicole silences Waverly’s questions with her lips, picking up where they left off. Waverly doesn’t seem to care. She continues with her fingers combing through Nicole’s hair knowing damn well what that does to Nicole. 

Nicole’s hand slips under Waverly’s t-shirt, fingers skating over warm skin. Waverly’s breast molds perfectly into her palm.  _ No babies,  _ she thinks _ , everything is perfect,  _ and she makes a line of kisses down the column of Waverly’s throat. __

The thought of Waverly and a miraculous conception has been distracting, to say the least. Over the last few weeks, since Waverly discovered all that  _ angel business _ , Nicole has done everything in her power not to give in completely, not to allow herself to get lost in Waverly’s touch for fear of a pregnancy. It could be the vodka, or the stress of seeing her family again, and it doesn’t help that her wife is a goddamn goddess in the sheets, but Nicole is weak tonight. She doesn’t have it in her to fight it anymore.

Nicole lifts up enough to push Waverly’s t-shirt up her body and over her head leaving Waverly’s perfect breasts naked and  _ oh so _ touchable. Her trail of kisses extends from Waverly’s throat, spreads across her chest, pausing at Waverly’s hardened nipple. Nicole takes it into her mouth and revels at the way Waverly arches up into her and the soft moan that escapes her lips. Waverly’s fingers continue raking through Nicole’s hair, guiding Nicole lower, down Waverly’s stomach, and her teeth scrape along Waverly’s hipbone.

Nicole pauses to gaze up at her. Eyes heavy-lidded, her chest rises in deep desperate breaths, “I love you,” Waverly pants.

“I love you too,” Nicole says back before returning to kiss along Waverly’s waistband and her hand moves to palm Waverly’s breast again. Nicole squeezes a little too hard as they both startle. The door flies open in a loud clash against the wall behind them. Waverly squeaks from one thing or the other. 

“Jesus fucking Christ! Noah!” Nicole shouts over her shoulder and blindly swats the bed for Waverly’s t-shirt. She holds it against Wavery’s bare chest when she locates it.

“Mother requests your presence in her meditation study,” Noah’s voice belts through the megaphone. 

Nicole winces at the sound. “Get out!” 

The megaphone drops and hangs at his side. He peers around Nicole to Waverly partially hidden under Nicole and her t-shirt. 

“Well, well, well. What do we have going on here?” He wiggles his eyebrows and Nicole hovers over Waverly protectively. 

“Get out, goddammit!” 

Nicole leaps from the bed. Her foot tangles in the blankets and she tumbles to the floor, elbows smacking into the hardwood. 

Noah bolts down the hall, leaving the door wide open. “Mom! Nicole’s acting crazy again!” 

Nicole slams her fists to the floor and growls, “little fucker.” 

Waverly giggles. She hangs partially off the bed and runs the back of her fingers along the side of Nicole’s face. Nicole’s smile is feeble.

“I think he’s cute,” Waverly says.

“Cute as a cockroach.” 

Waverly giggles again and tugs her t-shirt over her head.

Nicole rolls her eyes. “I better go see what Nancy wants.” 

When she first enters, Nicole takes in a kaleidoscope of colors spilling through geometric shapes and graceful details of the mandala stretched across the back wall. It could be the candles perched on every surface, or the incense that she burns, that overwhelms the room with a warm and slightly sweet, almost intoxicating scent, too musky for Nicole’s taste. 

After noting the various himilayan salt lamps giving the room an amber glow, Nicole studies Nancy in full lotus pose in the center of the room. Even after all these years it surprises Nicole that a powerhouse lawyer like Nancy has such eccentric tendencies. 

Despite Nicole’s quiet entrance, feet padding soft as air on the eclectic rugs softening the floors, Nancy doesn’t have to crack an eye open to recognize Nicole’s presence. 

“Nicky,” she says. “You seem a little tense.”

Nicole circles around to scowl at Nancy’s face rather than her back. “Nancy, don’t call me Nicky.” 

Her hands, resting palm up on her knees, don’t hardly flinch with the sternness in her voice. “Don’t call me Nancy. I’m your mom.” 

Nicole opens her mouth to argue, but as if Nancy can sense it, she interjects, “Hush child. Come. Sit with me.” 

There’s no sense in objecting. Nancy will win everytime. Nicole reluctantly situates herself mirroring Nancy, not quite in full lotus pose. 

“Close your eyes, Nicky...Nicole,” she corrects.

Nicole does and Nancy takes her hands flipping them palm up. They rest like that together to the soft melody of wind chimes and running water filling the air around them. This feels just like high school again. Nicole swears her mother practically came out  _ for _ her during Kundalini yoga. Nothing has changed. Nicole braces herself for what’s to come. 

“How is everything going with you and Waverly in the bedroom?”

And there it is. Nicole throws her hands up exasperated and they fall in her lap. “What!? Mom, no. Is that why you called me in here?” 

“I’m worried about you. Can’t a mother worry about her baby?” 

“Waverly and I do not have any issues with our sex life. We’re good in that department...not that it’s any of your business.” 

Nancy’s eyes open, she takes Nicole’s hands and flips them back over to rest on her knees again. “Don’t lie to me Nicole, you've never been a good liar.” 

“I’m not lying! Why would I be lying?” 

Her eyes fall shut again and she takes in a few deep breaths to the silence as the music has stopped. Both hands reach out blindly to Nicole’s face, Nicole leans away, but Nancy cups her cheeks regardless and hums. “I sense something…” 

_ Maybe it’s the sex swing in the garage _ . Nicole sheds Nancy’s hands from her face. Nancy doesn’t let go, she holds on to Nicole tight, taking in more breaths as if to breathe in all of Nicole’s secrets. “You have a low libido caused by a weakness in your Root Chakra, your Sacral. Meditation will help you. Breathe with me Nicole, focus on growing that Root.” 

“I don’t want to focus on my Root,” Nicole interjects. Nancy prattles on.

“It’s important, Nicole. Your Root gives you sexual stamina and deeper orgasms. I know the more my Root grows, the more aroused I get.” 

Nicole rips her hands free and protects them against her chest. “Okay, that’s enough. I think we’re past the sex talk by now Nancy...mom.” 

“I just want to help you sweetheart. I’m not the only one worried about you. Waverly has some concerns too.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Waverly told me.”

Nicole’s heart sinks. The thought that Waverly would tell Nancy anything before telling her, or worse, that Waverly would talk  _ about _ her, is crushing to say the least. “She did? When?” 

“During one of our Sunday talks. We talk about things like that. Things the two of  _ you _ should really talk about,” Nancy says, it comes off suggestive. She looks over Nicole at the obvious disgruntlement on her face. “But oh, she’s so so proud of you and your accomplishments. She really loves you, Nicole. Such a lovely girl.” 

“Wait, you and Waverly talk on the phone? Regularly?” 

“Of course we do. You’ve been so busy after your promotion to Sheriff, I didn’t want to bother you...I still want to know how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life, sweetheart...and it’s nice having someone to talk to. All your father cares about is that silly little model in the basement. I’m human. I get lonely.” 

Nicole scoffs and jumps to her feet. She’s heard enough. It’s hard to wrap her mind around Waverly confiding in her mother about things before talking to her. Nicole thought they told each other everything. It doesn’t make sense that Waverly would do this, betray her like this. 

Nicole stomps through the door to her childhood bedroom where Waverly’s snuggled up in the center of her twin bed. Normally Nicole would wait, let Waverly sleep and talk to her about it in the morning. This feels different. Nicole can’t curl up with Waverly and sleep while she’s all worked up over this new revelation.

“You and Nancy talk on the phone?” Nicole says as she flips on the light and shuts the door behind her.

Waverly sits up sleepy-eyed, and the blanket sags off her shoulders, and bunches around her waist. “...yes,” she admits. 

“Since when?” 

“Since forever, Nicole. Practically since we’ve been married,” she says as if stating the obvious. 

“Why? How did I not notice?” 

“Because you don’t pay attention. All you care about is that stupid Mustang!”

“Well, that’s just not true,” Nicole says, taken-aback.

Waverly’s gaze drops to her hands in her lap and she picks at her fingers. The feeling of betrayal momentarily moves to the back burner. Nicole crosses the room and situates herself on the edge of the bed. “Is that how you really feel?”

Waverly shakes her head, not as an answer, rather to keep the tears catching in her eyelashes from spilling down her cheeks. Guilt replaces any sense of betrayal Nicole has. Waverly wasn’t being sneaky, she was feeling neglected. 

Nelson's obsession with Tiny Purgatory has left Nancy lonely, is Waverly left lonely too then? Because of the Mustang? Nicole considers she may be becoming her father. Then another thought fills her head, “Is that why you want a baby? Because you’re lonely?” Nicole reaches for Waverly’s hands, still twisting in her lap. “Baby, if that’s what's going on I can work less, I can delegate more, and the Mustang...I—” 

Waverly snarls and withdraws her hands. “I want a baby because I  _ want  _ a baby, but I want you too.” 

“I’m here, Waves. I’m right here...and I love you more than  _ anything _ .” 

It’s quiet. It’s too quiet and Waverly won’t hardly look at her. The longer they sit there the tighter the knot forming in Nicole’s gut twists. How has she let this happen? How does she fix it? She scours her brain for the right thing to say, then finally Waverly speaks. 

“Even the Mustang?” 

“I love you a bazillion times more than that Mustang.” 

Waverly giggles and the knot in Nicole’s stomach unravels. “Promise?” 

“I promise. You can talk to me, you know? I’ll listen.”

A flash of doubt casts over Waverly’s face. She smiles anyway and crawls from the bunched up blankets and into Nicole’s lap without saying anything else.

  
  



	2. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse for Nicole and her Mustang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again LuckyWantsToKnow for beta-ing our second chapter of Christmas With The Haughts

Priscilla running by Nicole’s bedroom door screaming, “IT’S CHRISTMAS! IT’S CHRISTMAS! IT’S CHRISSSTMMASSSS!!!” is definitely not how Nicole thought she would wake up this morning. She immediately turns from her position curled defensively around Waverly, and rolls off the bed. 

“Dammit!” she whispers, albeit loudly, and rubs her elbow and then her back. “I’m too old for this shit.”

Waverly is sleeping soundly, Nicole notes, and so she stands slowly and kisses her wife on the forehead. Warmth bubbles over in her heart; it is Christmas Day after all and she’s got a beautiful perfect wife and a lovely life. The smile cresting on her face is immediately replaced by a scowl, just as the twins beat against the bedroom door.

“Yo Nicky, get your ass in gear, it’s Presents Time!” Noah echoes through the hall as Nicole hears his clunky feet on the stairs and then the echo of Noelle right behind him. Of course they’re excited, Nancy probably got them new goats. 

She rolls her eyes so hard she thinks they’ll get stuck that way if she does it again, so she refocuses on her angelic sleeping wife and the inner turmoil of just getting back in the cozy bed, or going to join the family for Christmas Morning festivities. She knows what Waverly would want.

“Waves, sweetheart…it’s time to get up. It’s Christmas morning and everyone is ready to do gifts…” she whispers, as she gently rubs her wife’s back until she wakes. 

Waverly looks dreamy and almost content. The effects of last night’s disagreement are nowhere to be found on her face when she turns towards Nicole in her daze of awakening. “More sleep, baby, just five more minutes…”

Fifteen minutes later they make their way downstairs to see everyone waiting anxiously for the final two participants. The family would never know that Waverly and Nicole had nearly come to blows the night before, save perhaps Nancy, who looks at both of them cautiously. But when Waverly takes Nicole’s hand and kisses her cheek, Nancy seems to sigh and refocus on the events at hand. 

Nicole has a sneaking suspicion that Nancy knows a lot more about her marriage, even her sex life, than she could’ve ever imagined. It makes her nauseous just thinking about it. She wonders how she’s going to get through this day if the agenda is anything like her youth. Presents, then breakfast (she’ll pass, she doesn’t feel like eggs would go well with her anxiety,) then charades, then dinner. 

She glances down at Waverly as they’re taking their seats in the family room to open gifts. She looks a little green too. But Waverly squeezes her hand then and it’s just what she needed; something warm and soothing, to comfort her, to ground her. They smile at each other, a genuine “we still love each other” smile, and Nicole sighs contently.  _ This is why we don’t need kids _ , she confirms to herself,  _ we’re perfect just the way we are. _

The family goes back and forth from youngest to oldest because it’s mayhem for kids to have to wait to open their gifts. Angus doesn’t have a really good understanding of the rocking horse that Nelson bestows upon him, or the new wardrobe that Nancy “helps” him unwrap, but he seems really content with the new reindeer that Waverly had found that same night she saw the twins at the toy store. The nose lights up red and it has a music box of Christmas carols that play when you squish it’s belly; the ping-ping-ping of different octaves is soothing even to Nicole, though she’d never admit that to anyone. Angus approves by putting the antlers in his mouth and then offering the same to his father. Nash gladly accepts and tugs at it like a nine-week-old puppy, Nicole thinks. People with babies are ridiculous.

Nelson seems so unassuming at the far end of the room in his favorite recliner. He’s spent many a night here reading his medical journals or focusing the white-hot lamp on detail work for Tiny Purgatory and its inhabitants. He leans back and rocks gently until Priscilla brings him his gifts. Then his eyes light up with wonder at the holiday pack for his favorite place. There are little boxes inside the main one full of little Christmas trees and tiny lights. There’s a Santa with sleigh and reindeer and even a couple of elves. Nicole swears she sees tears form in his eyes. 

Priscilla’s rendition of “It’s Christmas” pales in comparison to her squeals of glee when she’s presented a gift taller than her six-year-old body. She rips into it with sheer delight and reveals a Majestic Mansion Dollhouse. Nelson had spent the better part of three hours constructing it overnight and delicately placing all the furniture and accessories in their respective rooms. He hands her the dolls that go with the set and gently shows her how the gliding elevator works. She mimics his motions and almost cries, she’s so happy. 

“It’s for when you visit, we’ll keep it in the study since I won’t need that anymore. You can create your own Tiny Purgatory piece by piece.”

Nicole watches the awe spread throughout Priscilla’s entire body as she realizes all the worlds she can create with just one four-level, eight-room house and her imagination. It reminds Nicole of when she realized Alice wanted to understand more about her job as Sheriff. 

It was Nicole’s last ride in the Mustang with Alice, right after ballet practice for their Christmas recital. Alice had been going through a laundry list of what all the other kids had wanted for Christmas. They had all made their lists in her kindergarten class that day. She had added a few things she hadn’t told Santa because their teacher had said he knew everything anyways, so Santa would be sure to see it. 

Nicole felt that was cheating a bit and probably adding to the stress all their parents felt to get even more stuff, but she also wanted to know what Alice had added. She had gone to the store where Alice had said she’d seen the ‘cars with sirens’, right after dropping her home to Wynonna and Doc. She has the package in her trunk with all the others for their family Christmas night celebration. She just needs to keep the magic alive for Alice as long as she can. 

Nicole hasn’t done Christmas with her family for so many years that, had Waverly not insisted they go out and put real effort into gifts, she would be passing around envelopes of cash right now. But Waverly always goes the extra mile and right this moment Nancy is admiring a brocade scarf that she bought in Greece. Nicole wonders for a few seconds how Waverly thought to buy this for Nancy well before the holiday, but then she’s reminded that they talk all the time. Waverly and her mother talk  **weekly** , and about her, their marriage,  _ Waverly _ and…Nicole would even wager: Waverly’s baby heart. 

Her mind starts to wander. What does Nancy know? Does she know about the research Waverly’s done or that she can make a baby through supernatural means?  _ Is this why Nancy was talking about her Root last night? _ Nicole blushes so deeply that she has to lie and say it’s because the heat is too high and she’s hot in those flannel pajamas. She leaves the room; she yanks at her collar. 

She peers out the window at the fresh snow from overnight. Nash bellows out a “yeehaw” with whatever gift their parents have given him, probably tickets to some NASCAR race or a barbeque competition or a wet T-shirt contest, and not the kind that Nicole inferred when she first met Waverly Earp. Nicole scowls again. How are they related? This is what happens when parents have sex swings. 

Just then Nicole hears a roar above everything, so screechingly wild that she can also hear Angus whimper in fear of a repeat from the previous day. The twins have just gotten tickets to a concert, a good one, Nicole admits to herself. She can hear Noelle talking about how much she loves Taylor Swift’s voice and it’s cancelling out Noah’s repeated, “she’s hot” commentary. 

Just when she knew she didn’t have anything in common with them, she feels okay for a second about being their big sister. Who doesn’t like Taylor Swift? She starts unconsciously singing “Lover” in her head and realizes she’s calmed down. Her chakras must be realigning, she chuckles to herself. Nancy will be so pleased.

“Nicole, it’s your turn!” She hears from the doorway. “Come open your gifts, honey,” her mother instructs. 

Though more at peace, she can’t ignore the current train of thought that Nancy and Waverly are conspiring against her, so Nicole returns, suspicious, to the family room. She’s greeted by Nancy pushing a box too heavy to lift in her direction. Nicole sighs heavily as she tears into it.

“So, as you know we converted the barn to the new yoga studio and I found so many wonderful toys and books and even your favorite blankies from when you were little!” Nancy’s voice rises over the ripping. 

Nicole pops the taped ends to reveal a plethora of childhood memories, from her Eeyore stuffy to her favorite book, Officer Buckle & Gloria, all the highlights of her earliest years appear again after thirty years. She coughs out to avoid the choke in her throat. “You kept all these things?”

“Well, of course. They were your favorites and I thought you might want to give them to your kids someday. There’s no age recommendation on the blanket your grandmother made you, Nicole. You can wrap a baby in it the day they’re born,” Nancy explains, more matter-of-fact than sentimental. 

Nicole can see Waverly out of the corner of her eye and suddenly it’s too much. She wants to tell them both no, that’s not the plan. The plan is and always has been: no babies. But something inside her shifts down like when she’s on patrol in Purgatory, crisis management she calls it, and she remembers that this is Christmas Day and she’s not going to argue with her wife, in front of her mother, her family, about something that she’s just not going to change her mind on. Nicole closes the box quietly, “that was thoughtful of you Nan-…Mom…”

“You’re very welcome, Nicole,” Nancy leaves it at that and refocuses all her energy on her favorite person, Waverly. “For a bit of a change of pace, here’s your gift, dear.”

Waverly’s gift is ornate, a designer’s brand name stamped in gold leaf on the front. “Oh, Nancy! What could this be?”

Nicole watches as Waverly delicately unties the bow and opens the box, peeling the tissue back slowly. All that Nicole can see initially is black…and then lace. She furrows her eyebrows.  _ What the hell is that? _

Waverly unfolds it and holds it up slowly and then realization washes over Nicole. It’s a negligee. The synapses in her brain fire so rapidly she doesn’t know how to react. What’s appropriate when your mother gives your wife lingerie?? _Are they_ ** _that_** **_close_** _?_

“Nancy, this is beautiful. Really lovely,” Waverly says graciously. Nicole can’t get a read on her emotions and that’s troublesome she notes. The jolts continue in her head and she’s positive she still has a look of shock on her face.

She hears Nash. “Damn, Nicky. I don’t know how you’re going to hold yourself back from that hot piece of-“

“Son, watch yourself,” Nancy cautions, while in the same breath she turns back to Waverly, “I just thought, while you’re young and have this wonderfully-toned body…it’s only going to look this way until you have kids, you know?” 

Waverly nods her head. Nicole thinks it’s good she can’t verbalize her feelings right now either. And Nicole’s emotions can’t handle this. Why is her mother trying so hard to get Waverly pregnant? When did all of this fall so swiftly out of her control?! She stands abruptly and pulls an arm back, she recalls later to probably punch Nash square in the dick where he deserves it, but instead she lets her fist drop limply to her side. 

“I need some fresh air.” She’ll just have to miss Candy opening her gifts…Christmas morning is over for Nicole.

She steps into the chilly air, pulling her coat on even as she stands on the front porch. She takes out her phone and dials.

“Haught Stuff! Merrry friggin’ Christmas, sis-in-law. How’s it goin at the parentals?” bellows Wynonna from the other end of Purgatory.

Nicole rolls her eyes again. She’s starting to get seriously worried that they’re eventually going to stay that way, “Wynonna, are you drunk already? It’s not even nine!”

“Doc gave me some very expensive whiskey for Christmas and I had to try it out.”

Nicole ignores Wynonna’s explanation. “Put Alice on the phone.”

“I see how it is Haught Pocket,” and then Nicole hears Wynonna holler for her niece and the rustling of the phone changing hands.

“Hello,” pipes in Alice.

“Hey kiddo!” Nicole doesn’t allow her foul mood to seep into her time with Alice. “How’s Christmas? Did Santa bring you everything you wanted?”

“Well, I wanted the cars with the sirens, but Mama said Santa must not have gotten that in my letter. I thought I wrote it down…”

“Hmm,” Nicole acts as if she’s pondering this issue seriously, “I bet you did and he just had to decide what was more important. Did you get the dollhouse and the new tricycle?”

“Yes! But the tricycle is PINK. You know I don’t like pink, Auntie Nicole!”

“It’s true. I guess Santa figured you had a really cool artsy Auntie Waves that would paint it all the colors of the rainbow if you ask her nicely.”

“Can I talk to Auntie Waves and ask her now?”

Nicole looks around nervously. “Not right now, kiddo, but I’ll remind you when we come over later tonight and do Family Christmas, okay?”

“Okay, Auntie Nicole,” there’s a silence and Nicole hears Wynonna ask Alice if they’re done talking. “No,” says Alice even as she refocuses on their conversation, “I miss you and Auntie Waves and I wish you were here with us for Christmas but I can show you all my new stuff when you come over tonight and then we can play Sheriffs because daddy got me a new hat, a white hat like yours!”

Nicole takes a sharp breath in. She’s not prepared for the way Alice breaks her heart and makes it grow three sizes bigger at the same time. How can a kid who just wants to emulate her aunt, evoke something so profound in Nicole? It doesn’t make sense. But Alice isn’t like the other kids. Nicole has known Alice practically from the moment she was born and she convinces herself that’s all it is, she’s part of Alice’s origin and that’s why the bond is so deep...that’s all it is, right? Because Nicole doesn’t want kids; she can’t imagine feeling that with someone else again in this life. Alice is  _ special _ .

***

Nicole slumps into the family room a few steps behind a very eager Waverly. The anticipation has been building ever since Nicole first told her about the Haught’s family tradition. Nicole’s always hated this stupid game. Everyone else has always had a partner so she ended up as the third wheel on someone else’s team. 

Deep down, Nicole knows she’s great at charades. She’s just never had a chance to prove it, but this year is going to be different. Waverly has assured her she’s amazeballs at this game and regularly practices during sexy time. “Boobs” she pantomimes over and over, “Lusty Rocket” was the hardest clue and Nicole even got that after only twelve hand motions. She’s pumped as they all gather around Nancy, but she doesn’t want anyone the wiser that they’re going to kick ass at this year’s charades.

Nancy stands beside the fireplace, hands clasped together, thrilled that it’s time for her favorite part of Christmas Day. “Okay! You know the Haughts have a family tradition of playing charades every Christmas and I always pick a worthy theme. And this year’s theme, drumroll please?”

Noah and Noelle bang on the coffee table in expectation.

“Christmas!”

The reaction is mixed. It’s not as exciting as last year's theme, “Greatest Movies of All Time” or the year before that, “Songs That Changed Our Lives”. 

Nash scratches his head, “This seems a bit lackluster…”

“Hush, son. You and Candy are going to do fine, I’m sure,” Nancy encourages before redirecting her attention, “Now, let’s draw numbers to see who goes first.”

Nelson passes around a hat and each team draws a slip of paper; Nicole trusts Waverly with everything and lets her draw theirs. 

“Fourth,” Nicole says peering over Waverly’s shoulder. “That’s not bad. It’s not first and not last.”

“Right,” Waverly agrees and pecks her on the lips. “We’ve got this.” 

Nicole’s heart thrums in her chest a little in anticipation as Nancy slips the first card from the small Christmas-themed box, cupping her hand around it she reads it excitedly before laying it face down on the coffee table. 

First she holds out two fingers to Nelson, like any experienced charades player would, eyeing him expectantly. 

“Two words,” Nelson says in understanding. Nancy gives him the thumbs up. 

Then, she sticks her fingers up either side of her head, along her ears, and wiggles them to exaggerate their pointiness.

“Horns!” Nelson yells. Nancy shakes her head. “Points...pointy ears! Elf ears. Christmas elf!” 

“Yes!” Nancy cheers and comes in for a victory peck on the lips. She plops down on the couch next to Nelson, adjusting her new scarf that she so fondly wrapped around her neck. “Your turn Nash, honey.” 

Nash sits up sliding Candy off his lap and gives her a slap to the ass, “You’ve got this, baby.” 

Candy bites her lip over her shoulder as she prances to the Christmas-themed box, bending down tactlessly to retrieve her card. She nods after having read it and tosses it next to Nancy’s.

She takes the center of the room like she takes the main stage, feet together, chest out, in some kind of starting pose. Then she nods to Nash letting him know the show's about to start, as Nicole imagines she has done so many times before. 

Candy proceeds to do something that could be interpreted as a dance, swaying her hips, pausing, holding out her hand expectantly, and repeating it all again. 

“Money?” Nash says. 

Nicole snorts having recollection of Nash claiming Candy as his soulmate, “please.”

Though it could be perfect.  _ The Cowboy and The Stripper _ , not a Harlequin romance she’s interested in. “Soulmates,” Nicole laughs to herself. 

Waverly jabs an elbow into her side. “Be nice.” 

Candy continues with the dancing, sashaying around the living room, tucking something under her armpit, a dance Nicole is not familiar with. Noah and Noelle seemed to be entertained all the same with their snickering. 

“Stripper? Stripping!” Nash gets increasingly excited nearly lifting off the couch and waving his hand like he’s waving a dollar bill. “Saturday night at Pussywillows!” 

“Nash Bridges Haught you watch your mouth during Christmas charades!” Nancy chides. “This is a family atmosphere.” 

“Times up.” Noah announces. 

“Holiday shopping.” Candy reveals with a bit of a pout to her lip and she shuffles back. 

Nash welcomes her into his arms and situates them together on the couch. “Now darlin, I hope you’re not shaking your money-maker like that at the shopping mall.” 

“Nash!” Nancy snaps again.

“What? It’s not like I said...ass.” 

By the way she’s nuzzling into his cheek and tugging on his earlobe with her teeth, Candy doesn’t appear to mind.

“Sick, get a room,” Noelle snarls. 

“For real,” Noah adds as he launches off the couch to claim his charade card. A wicked grin settles on his face before flinging the card to the floor next to the coffee table and taking his throne as the center of attention. 

An uneasiness immediately settles in Nicole’s stomach from the look the twins are sharing. Nicole always got a sense they could read each other's mind and it made them all the more dangerous. 

Smirking, Noah fixes a stare directly at Nicole as he proceeds to wad something up in his hand. He winds up his arm as if to shoot off a baseball in Nicole’s direction.The movement is so swift and startling that Nicole flinches.

“Snowball fight!” Noelle says immediately. 

Noah winks at Nicole like the ornery little shit that he is, and sits back down. “Your turn Nicky.” 

Nicole turns to Waverly and slides her hands to her face, maybe a little too roughly, to look in Waverly's eyes, “Okay, baby. We got this.” 

“Okay,” Waverly says and winks. “Breast alligator.” 

Nicole smirks, and repeats. “We got this.” 

Nodding, Waverly squirms a little in Nicole’s grips, her cheeks squishing together and pushing out her lips. “You’re kind of squishing me, baby. I get it. Now let go.” 

“Okay,” Nicole says. 

Waverly takes her turn at the Christmas-themed box, thoughtfully selecting her card, and nods, murmuring encouraging words to herself. 

_ We got this.  _ Nicole repeats in her head. 

Waverly stands front and center. A hint of nervousness twitches her lower lip, and at first she avoids eye contact of any kind. After she adjusts to the attention, she cradles her arms, and proceeds to rock them. Nicole narrows her eyes immediately. “Waverly, no.” 

That’s not an appropriate response. Waverly gives her a look of disapproval and signals her to keep going. Nicole groans, “baby.” she says bitterly. 

Of course Waverly would pull a baby card. Nancy probably rigged it this way, either that or the two of them are plotting against Nicole. 

Waverly gives Nicole a thumbs up, and brings her hands together in a prayer pose, gazing to the ceiling. 

“Pray,” Nicole says and Waverly shakes her head, keeping her hands pressed together.

“Praying baby?” Nicole offers. “Begging? Begging baby?” 

That’s a  _ no _ from Waverly momentarily dropping her arms and deadpanning to Nicole. Nicole shrugs, “I-dunno,” she mumbles. 

Noah sneezes. 

“God bless you,” Noelle responds. 

Waverly cast a glance at the twins that Nicole can’t interpret, and it’s unsettling in the least. 

“Meditating baby?” Doubt sets in. Maybe Nicole’s not as good at charades as she thought, or Waverly’s not so skilled as she made herself out to be. It’s like they’re speaking a different language. Waverly shakes her head commiserating with Nicole’s frustration. 

“Enough with the prayer hands! That’s obviously not working.” Nicole snaps. 

“Jesus, Nicole. Calm down,” Nash says with an amused lilt to his voice, followed by some unprompted giggling coming from Nancy’s side of the couch. Nicole waves her hand to shush them while she concentrates on whatever Waverly’s trying to do now. 

Nahla snorts, “Good lord, could the three of you knock it off!” 

Waverly throws her hands around wildly, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation. Nicole’s never felt so stupid playing charades in her life. “Do something else with your hands. I don’t know what that means.”

Waverly tries raising her arms above her head reaching for the heavens instead, and then flaps them at her sides like wings. 

“Angel! Angel baby? Angel baby!” Nicole yells, but Waverly still shakes her head, no. 

“Well, what the fuck is it?” Nicole grumbles. 

“Nicole Rayleigh Haught, don’t make me use the Lord's name in vain. You watch your mouth.” 

“Times up.” Noah announces again.

“Christ,” Nicole pouts slumping back against the couch. 

“Exactly,” Waverly says shuffling back to Nicole and flops down next to her. “Jesus, Nicole” 

“Look, I tried okay.” 

“No, it was  _ Baby Jesus _ .” 

Disheartened by her obvious cluelessness, Nicole hardly notices Sebestrian retrieving his card, and it seems in a matter of seconds Nahla is yelling, “Ginch,” and Sebastian’s cheering his way back to the couch. 

***

Nicole’s not sure whether to laugh or cringe. Surrounded by her Christmas spoils, Priscilla sits across a tiny tea set from Angus. The lipstick on his lips is drawn sloppy and half of it’s smeared over his cheeks, and he dons a tiny crown. It doesn’t appear to affect him or the tiny teacup he waves at Priscilla. 

“More tea good sir?” Priscilla says in some effort at a posh accent. Holding the swaying teacup still, she tips the teapot into the cup. “Careful now, it’s hot.” 

The floor creaks underfoot as Nicole attempts to bow out unnoticed. Priscilla glances up, mid pour. “Auntie Nicole! Have Princess Tea with us!” she chirps. 

Nicole shakes her head and hooks a finger over her shoulder. “Oh, uh...I’ve got some things to do.” 

“Pease. Pease. Pease. I have another crown,” she says waving it around as if to sweeten the pot. 

“W _ e can play Sheriffs because daddy got me a new hat, a white hat like yours!”  _ echos through her mind, and Nicole blinks. 

Suddenly Priscilla is Alice surrounded by an array of Crayolas,  _ “Please Auntie Nicole, come color with me! Please, I’ll let you use my scented markers,” she giggles. “but you can’t eat them like daddy tried to that one time.”  _

Nicole sighs. She doesn’t hate babies despite what Waverly said. She just doesn’t want one of her own. Being an aunt is something she  _ can _ do. Nicole smiles and takes the princess crown, fitting it to her head before sitting on the floor, legs criss-crossed in front of her. Priscilla hands her a tiny teacup and begins pouring nothing in it until it’s full. 

“Milk or sugar?” she says with an eloquence to her voice. 

“Mmm...sugar please.” 

“No problem,” Priscilla says and reaches for a jar with a tiny scoop, then proceeds to dip it into the jar, gracefully emptying it into Nicole’s teacup.“Say when.” 

It’s no cops and robbers, and Alice has never asked Nicole to play princess  _ anything,  _ but there is a small thrill sitting here with Priscilla. 

After three little scoops, Nicole says, “when.” 

“Did you get everything you wanted from Santa?” 

Priscilla shakes her head, “Mmnope. Santa’s not real.” 

“No?” Nicole frowns. “Why do you think that?” 

“Uncle Noah says Santa is just a spokesperson for large corp’ration like Walmart and Amazon to teach kids about comiserism so that we buy their stuff,” Priscilla explains.

“You mean consumerism?” 

“That too…”she nods. “Anyway, Uncle Noah says we’ve got to stick it to the man by not buying into Santa’s bullshit.” 

Nicole tips her teacup to Priscilla and smiles, “I like you.” 

Just before Nicole can tell Priscilla about Alice and how she thinks they would get along, the teapot and sugar jar rattle together as Angus smashes his tiny little fist into it, giggling at the sound. The princess crown slips from his head and catches around his neck before falling off completely.

“No Angus,” Priscilla says, and with a soft sense of patience, she shoves the reindeer stuffed toy into his hands. He shakes it around, at first setting off the blinking nose, then noms the antlers.

Even as a six-year-old, Priscilla’s already so considerate and well-mannered. Waverly’s that way, kind and pure, of course she is. She is an honest-to-god angel. 

Angus waves the reindeer at Nicole. She shrinks away. It’s wet, and she doesn’t want it to touch her. “Stop.” 

“He wants you to bite it,” Priscilla giggles. 

Nicole wrinkles her nose at it and shakes her head, “Mm...I don’t think so. I don’t really like biting reindeer. Too gamey.” 

“He won’t stop until you do it,” she warns. “Uncle Nash does it and growls like a bear.” 

Reluctantly, Nicole takes it and examines the bubbles of baby drool soaking its antler, fighting back a gag.  _ I can’t do it.  _ But Angus stares at her intently waiting for her. She flips the reindeer over, closes her eyes, and nips it’s foot. It chimes once. Angus giggles and smacks her knee as if to tell her  _ again. _

Nicole does, she bites the fuzzy foot a little harder and his face brightens, pink pudgy cheeks spread wide in a smile as laughter spills out. It’s a surprisingly satisfying sound.

This time when Nicole bites it she shakes her head and growls like a wild animal. Angus slaps his hands on the ground in front of him and his laughter roars louder. The more she does it the more high-pitched and animated he gets until Nicole and Priscilla are laughing too. 

Soon he’s crawling into Nicole’s lap, pawing at her neck and the toy, mumbling some kind of gibberish Nicole nearly mistakes for  _ “mama”.  _ A little hand grips and twists at the collar of Nicole’s shirt keeping himself standing and his other hand holds the reindeer close while he sucks on the fabric of the antler. 

_ Damn _ . He smells good. Waverly would say he smells like love. Nicole never understood what she meant until Alice...and now. 

“I think he likes you,” Priscilla says and runs fingers through his baby hair. “He doesn’t like everyone.”

“He seems to like Waverly and  _ Candy  _ enough,” Nicole says, a little bitterly. 

“I think he just likes moms.” 

“I-I’m not a mom.” 

Priscilla shrugs. 

The weight of Angus gets heavier as he slouches against Nicole’s chest and his eyelids sag. She scoops him up and cradles him in her lap as he continues to suck on the stuffed toy. One hand still clings to the buttons of her shirt and he watches her until his eyes finally shut. 

“Why does he do that?” 

“I don’t know,” Priscilla shrugs. “Maybe for the same reason all the growned-ups drink moonshine.” 

Nicole snorts, “Where’d you learn that?” 

“Grandpa,” she explains. “He said there’s a whole city under Purgatory that was builded in the 1920’s. That was for the gangsters to make their drinks in the bathtub where the cops couldn’t see them. Then they would sell the drinks in their sp’easies, which is a secret restaurant for drunk people.”

“Nelson’s gotten to you already,” Nicole says. 

“Grandpa has the best stories! Did you know the post office used to be a train depot?” 

Nicole frowns. She wonders if she was ever this excited to hear Nelson’s stories, or if she was always this sour. 

“I bet grandpa didn’t tell you about the two spider witches haunting the old abandoned school,” Nicole says, then something like regret washes over her prompted by the wild look on Priscilla’s face. She didn’t consider her audience very well, or the effects of a horror story on a six-year-old.

And yet. Priscilla bursts forward and clings to Nicole’s arm, stirring baby Angus, still cradled in Nicole’s lap, drifting in and out of sleep. “Tell me more!” 

Nicole smirks. Alice likes the scary stories too. 

“Priscilla, sweetheart?” Nahla calls.

Priscilla goans, “What?” 

“It’s time to get dressed!”

Priscilla does the most dramatic eye roll as she stands, shedding her princess crown to the floor. “Mothers, am I right?” 

Nicole chuckles, totally relating.

“Will you tell me about the spider witches later?” 

“If you want me to,” Nicole says and to her surprise Priscilla throws her arms around Nicole’s neck. 

“I love you Auntie Nicole. Merry Christmas.” 

In this moment Nicole’s baby heart grows three sizes. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” 

She looks to her lap to find Angus watching her again. He’s moved on to the other antler now having oversaturated the first one. The lipstick still smudges his face, not that he minds, and some of it’s stained the collar of his shirt. Nicole smiles sympathetically. 

“Here buddy, lets go get that off your face.” 

Angus offers no response. Nicole lifts him to her chest as she stands and presses a kiss to his tiny forehead. The wet antler tickles her neck, she only winces a little.

Nicole pivots to the door, startled by Waverly lingering there in the doorway. 

“Jesus Waverly, wear a bell or something,” Nicole growls, with a protective grip on Angus. 

The reindeer is shoved into Nicole’s mouth blinking and chirping as if to silence her. She spits it away and cranes her neck to see around it. 

It’s all over Waverly’s face. She’s been standing there all googly-eyed over Nicole and the babies. Well Nicole is having none of that. 

“Nah-uh, don’t give me that.” 

“Give you what?” 

“That little glowy thing your eyes have been doing all day.” 

Waverly bats her eyes innocently taking a step forward. “They’re not glowing.” 

“Oh yeah, big time. Glowing like a tree topper.” 

“Well,” she says dragging a finger down Nicole’s neck and hooking it in the collar of Nicole’s shirt. “ I  _ am _ an angel.”

“Half-angel, don’t get cocky,” Nicole teases. 

Waverly runs her hand through Angus’s soft hair and giggles when his tiny fingers tug on Nicole’s lower lip.

“Stop that,” Nicole says. Fingers tangle in her hair instead and yank really hard. “Ow!” 

“He likes you,” Waverly says, and snakes her arms around Nicole’s waist. 

“Yeah,” Nicole sighs, gazing down at Angus content with his reindeer again. She can’t even be mad at him and his lipstick-smeared face. Then, she realizes what Waverly’s doing. “Waverly no.” 

“I’m not doing anything.”

“I love being Auntie Nicole. Alice is great, Priscilla is pretty friggen cool too, and this little guy,” she smiles affectionately at the baby in her arms, “but we’re not having a baby. I’m not going to continue to have this conversation. I’m not changing my mind and that’s final.” 

“That’s final? You can’t do that. We are supposed to be a team, which means you get to listen to me express my wants and needs.”

Nicole is nervous Waverly’s raised voice is going to draw attention. That’s the last thing she needs is the rest of her family getting involved in her and Waverly’s baby issues. The thought of explaining to everyone, not only that Waverly  _ wants _ a baby and Nicole doesn’t, but that Waverly can  _ make _ a baby miraculously  _ with _ Nicole. 

“Shut this down,” Nicole says in a hushed tone, “Control your baby heart, Waverly.”

Waverly huffs and jabs a finger at Nicole, “Control  _ your _ baby heart...princess!” and stomps off. 

“Huh?” It dawns on her that she's still wearing Priscilla’s crown. “Oh.” 

Nicole slips it off and places it on the first floor of Priscilla’s doll house, as she thinks of an explanation, an excuse really, anything that quells Waverly’s constant yearning for babies. Then she’s distracted by her own. The very distinct sound of the Mustang’s car alarm blares through the neighborhood, straight through the fortification of the Haught residence and into the pit of Nicole’s anxiety. 

She runs to the nearest window, located in the kitchen, where Nancy is already peering out cautiously. “Looks like Kevin escaped the studio…”

“Kevin?” Nicole’s so confused right now, but no matter what. she has to get to the car. She starts moving through the house, Angus still tucked into her side. 

“The rogue one.” Nancy explains listlessly. She seems confused as to why Nicole’s suddenly at critical mass. 

“One what?” Nicole just needs some answers. She needs to get to her baby and she needs to know what’s happening to her. 

“He keeps escaping. Last week Noah finally wrangled him at the mailbox. He seemed to find it real tasty,” Nancy explains, following Nicole through the house as if she’s explaining how to bake cookies.

“Nancy, focus! Who is Kevin and why is he setting off the alarm on my Mustang?” screeches Nicole, as she arrives at the door, poised to go out but ultimately needing to know what to expect when she opens it. 

“Oh Kevin is one of the goats, Nicole. I’m sure your car is fine, he probably just…” but Nancy stops in the middle of her excuse as she peers out the front window, “...oh, no, he does seem to like metal.”

“Metal? METAL?!” Nicole hurriedly hands off Angus to Nancy, pushing past her. She’s down the stairs and grabs her coat by the door, as she realizes she doesn’t have the keys and can’t disarm the Mustang, but that doesn’t matter once Nicole sees the impossibly mangled chrome bumper on the front of her baby. Kevin stands there chewing slowly, unaffected.

Nicole didn’t think this day could get any worse than Christmas Eve, but here she is, staring in disbelief as the tiny brown goat gnaws her pristine classic. “You have got to be friggin kidding me!!!” she shouts, hands on her head in shock.

Seconds later the twins rush by her with a rope and pry Kevin’s teeth off the Mustang, but it’s too late. There’s several hundred dollars worth of damage to the car and that doesn’t count the emotional turmoil she’s already experiencing.

Nicole is having a hard time catching her breath. She wants to blame the cold air. She wants to blame the goddamn goat, but she worries that it’s all the things that this weekend has brought to light. It’s Waverly and her baby heart, the princess tiaras and tiny Purgatory Sheriff’s car, and her mother asking questions about her sex life and…

Nicole starts to panic. She slides her hands down her thighs and balances her upper body against the hands at her knees, somehow keeping her upright. She closes her eyes and tries to regulate her breathing, counting to ten like she learned in high school, but it’s not working. 

Suddenly Nicole feels a hand on her back, soothing her. Soft brown hair swooshes against her face at the same time that she catches a glimpse of her wife by her side. “Hey now, it’s going to be okay,” Waverly whispers, using the fob to finally disarm the Mustang’s alarm.

“What if it’s not?” Nicole sputters out. 

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?” Waverly asks, as if logic plays any part in Nicole’s reaction at this moment.

“I’m...the car...and…”

Waverly cuts her off, “It’ll cost some money, but it’s just the bumper. It could’ve been much worse without the car alarm. It won’t take Bobby a day to fix her,” Waverly soothes.

Nicole wants air in her lungs again so that she can tell Waverly that it’s not about the car, not right this second, but maybe that’s easier. Maybe Waverly should just think that it is her car, because telling her all the things that are choking Nicole right now would be too much, so she just nods.

Nancy has long since taken Angus inside. The twins disappeared as soon as they corralled Kevin, promising that Nelson would write Nicole a check “for any damage”. For the last twenty minutes, Waverly has spent all her energy and focus on making sure Nicole is going to be okay. It isn’t until Waverly finally speaks again that Nicole realizes she’s been crying.

“I know you love her, but this damage isn’t too bad. At least you weren’t in an accident or something...the Mustang can be fixed…”

Then Nicole says something she didn’t know she felt inside, “It’s just a car, Waverly. It’s just a car.”

Waverly takes Nicole’s hand then, comforting her in the smallest way she can, but it’s Nicole who squeezes their fingers in the reassuring unconscious way she always has, like a heartbeat reminder, a gently rhythmic reminder of how they’re each other’s foundation.

Waverly smiles and blip of relief washes over her, turning her cheeks a rosy pink. An idea crosses Nicole’s mind. Waverly wants to know where Nicole came from, listen to stories of her childhood, Nicole might avoid all interactions with her parents, but she can give Waverly this much. 

Nicole holds out her arm and smiles back, “Do you want to take a walk with me?” 

Waverly nods excitedly and links their arms, allowing Nicole to lead her along a path around the house. “It’s not that impressive right now covered in snow, but in the spring, Nancy’s out her bringing this place to life with her green thumb.” 

Nicole pinches the tip of a Douglas Fir and it springs back shaking loose a crusted layer of snow. She always thought these trees looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss story covered this way. 

“It’s beautiful like this,” Waverly says, scanning the scenery with pleasure. 

The path opens up to the backyard surrounded by more fir trees all dressed in white. In the center sits a partially dilapidated swing set. Waverly tugs Nicole in it’s direction, “Swing with me?” 

“That one’s broken,” Nicole says, and points to the sad state of rubber, long past it’s glory years, dangling from a chain. 

Waverly frowns out her disappointment, and Nicole can’t bear to bring her anymore. “But here,” Nicole says grabbing hold of the other swing and using her coat sleeve, she sweeps away the snow for Waverly to sit. “I’ll push you.” 

With a blissful pep in her step, Waverly beams as she situates herself on the swing. Nicole takes a step back, dragging Waverly with her to start the momentum and gently presses two hands to Waverly’s back pushing her forward into a full swing. 

“I’m sorry, Waverly.” Nicole says. “For what I said earlier.” 

She uses the movement of the swing, the air that it breathes, her hands pressed into Waverly’s back, to ground her as she thinks of a way to explain this. She wants to express her frustrations, that it’s about more than having a baby, without sounding like a dick. 

“We are a team...and of course I want to listen to your wants and needs.”

“I hear you, Nicole. Everytime you say it, I just don’t feel like you really hear me. You won’t talk to me beyond: no babies.”

Nicole grips the chains of the swings and pulls them steady. She squats down in front of Waverly gazing up at her.

“Look,” Nicole starts, and takes one of Waverly’s hands into her own. “I’ve given you my answer and I don’t think there is any changing it, so I don’t want to make any promises...but if that’s what you need, to talk about it, we can make time for that. Just not here.” 

“That’s all I’m asking.” 

“Okay.” Nicole smiles and is relieved to see Waverly’ smiling back. 

Outside of becoming sheriff, Waverly is all that Nicole has ever really wanted. This thing they have, love, it’s the most beautiful, purest thing Nicole has ever experienced. She can’t imagine anything ever changing that. 

Nicole kiss the inside of Waverly’s hand. It’s cold against her lips, but the touch still warms her even as the snow begins to fall. 

“See that one,” she says, pointing at the broken swing, “that one gave out on me after Nash dared me to swing as high as I could, and jump off. It snapped before I could, and I cracked my head open in the dirt and the rocks.” 

Nicole laughs as the memory floods through her like a movie. “Nahla chewed him out for almost five mintues before he carried me to Nelson. I got six stitches in the downstairs bathroom.” 

“See, they love you.” 

Small cottony flakes catch in Waverly’s eyelashes and the waves of her hair, and those gorgeous hazel eyes beam down on her in perfect half moons.  _ Snow angel _ , Nicole thinks and rises to stand over Waverly, she bows her head and presses a kiss to her lips, warming them from the cold. “I love you,” she whispers.

“It’s time for dinner Nicky!” Nancy calls from the back porch. “Come in and get warmed up.” 

“Mothers,” Nicole says and smiles. 

“Alright, here we go.” Nancy says, ushering everyone into the dining room. The table is set to perfection, just as Nancy likes it, with Christmas dinnerware, crystal glasses, and a colorful spread of cuisine perfectly laid over a red and green table runner. “Come. Come.” 

Each seat has a place card displayed in the center of the plate. Waverly’s assigned to the first seat, after Nancy, who has situated herself at the head of the table. Figures those sneaky sneaky squirrels would congregate there, and  _ oh,  _ Nicole rolls her eyes. She gets to sit between Waverly  _ and _ ...Candy. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she mutters as she drags Waverly’s chair out for her to sit, and inches it back in.

Waverly doesn’t seem to hear her. 

“This is beautiful mom,” Nahla applauds. 

“Thank you, dear.” 

Nelson comes around with a bottle of wine. He overfills Nicole’s glass and winks as he moves on to Nash’s. When he’s done Nancy commands him to slice up the turkey. 

“I just want to thank everyone for coming,” Nancy smiles and takes Waverly and Nahla’s hands. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me and your father to have you all gathered around the table together for the first time in years.” 

Nicole feels a twinge of guilt in the bottom of her stomach. It flees rapidly the moment Nelson lays out a few slices of turkey on her plate. Hunger takes its place. She rubs her hands together in anticipation, waiting for Nancy to give the cue, then it’s go-time.  _ Turkey, meet my belly. _

At the end of the table next to Noelle, Noah digs in prematurely, knife scraping loudly against his plate. Everyone stares as Nelson finishes dishing out the last helpings of turkey and takes his seat at the opposite side of the table as Nancy.

“What?” Noah says mouth full. Nicole didn’t notice him scoop out mashed potatoes and green bean casserole leaving sloppy dents in the serving dishes, it doesn’t appear anyone else did either until now. 

“Noah honey, slow down,” Nancy says in a tone ever so sweet. “I don’t want my little baby choking before dessert.” 

Nicole rolls her eyes. It’s probably chocolate, his favorite. 

“It’s chocolate.” Nancy smiles, proud. 

Noah grins, “Hell yeah! My favorite.” 

“Language Noah, not in front of the babies.” Nahla scolds.

Priscilla looks up at her and tugs the silk sleeve of her blouse. “Mama, I’m not a baby.”

“You’re my baby.” 

Priscilla shakes her head, offended, and pivots to Sebastian. “Daddy, am I still a baby? I’m six years old.” 

Sebastian shakes his head no, and seals it with a kiss to Priscilla’s forehead. She smiles triumphantly. 

“Nicole,” Waverly whispers. “Stop eating that.” 

“What? Why?” Nicole says through a mouthful of turkey. “Noah’s eating.” 

Waverly digs her nails into Nicole’s leg discreetly under the table and forces a smile across the table to Nahla, whose hardly paying attention to anything other than cutting up Priscilla’s food. “Stop it.” 

“What are you doing?” Nicole asks, eyeing Waverly with suspicion as the first signs of a gag appear on her colorless face. Nicole’s gaze immediately shifts to her delicious turkey wondering what could possibly be wrong with it to make Waverly act this way. “Is something wrong with it?” 

A hand goes to cover her mouth. Waverly shakes her head almost with a sense of panic. Her eyes squeeze shut for a moment and with a barely audible squeak, she holds whatever the hell it is in. 

“Waves?” Nicole says lowering her fork. “Are you okay?” 

Her nails dig in a deeper, taking skin this time. The turkey’s dressed tastefully in the middle of the table—glazed, cooked, and surrounded by fresh herbs and citrus. Nicole looks it over. Waverly’s never been this squeamish around meat before. 

Nicole peers at the wine glass in front of Waverly’s plate, considering she might have drank too much, but the glass is left untouched. There’s no cabbage or brussel sprouts; things that make her flee the kitchen. As far as Nicole can tell, nothing at this table appears threatening to Waverly’s gag reflex. Waverly, the woman who can watch Drew Barrymore take a bite out of a man's jugular while eating spaghetti. 

“Auntie Waverly looks sick,” Priscilla says. Sebastian nods in agreement and stuffs a chunk of potato in his mouth with a judgy expression on his face.

Nancy lights up with concern and brushes her hands down Waverly’s shoulders with a familiar affection, “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. I forgot you’re a vegetarian.” 

“Vagetarian,” Noah coughs under his breath. 

_ Why are we related?  _ Nicole thinks. She scowls at him from across the table, only getting more pissed off when the cocky bastard holds up his fingers in a ‘V’ around his mouth and flickers out his tongue. 

“No, it’s f-fine.” Waverly stutters dropping her hands to cup her stomach, and she blows out a steady stream of air. 

“Well here, have some stuffing. That I  _ did  _ make without any chicken broth.” Nancy commends herself. She doesn’t wait for Waverly to reply before scooping out a large helping and plopping it on Waverly’s plate.

“Thank you,” Waverly says, and the faintest shade of pink fills in her cheeks. 

It’s not clear to Nicole if she should stop eating or not. The turkey’s already on her plate, is she supposed to waste it? She proceeds with caution, stabbing a juicy morsel and sliding it into her mouth. It’s mouth-watering as all Nancy’s cooking is. Guilt-stricken, Nicole ducks her head trying to chew as stealthily as she can at first. 

The taste is addicting and soon Nicole’s shuffling it into her mouth mixed with gravy and mashed potatoes like an…

“...Animal. You’re eating like an animal, Nicole,” Nancy criticizes. “Slow down before you choke.” 

Nicole narrows her eyes mid-chew. How come she didn’t get threatened with pie? Brimming with resentment, she slows down, jabbing a fork into her plate and calmly sliding into her mouth, savoring it. 

Out of the corner of her eye she catches Waverly staring at her as if she went into the woods and slaughtered the turkey herself, “What?” she says, and notes the stuffing on Waverly’s plate has merely been spread around rather than eaten. Concern set aside, Nicole can’t help but lick her lips. “Are you going to eat that?” 

“If everyone could save their scraps, the goats would really appreciate it,” Noelle suggests as she digs into her meal.

“Noah and Noelle are doing sustainability as part of their empath journey for the yoga goat studio,” explains Nancy. 

“I just admire you both for taking on your passions and dreams and for doing it with such a conscious effort towards saving the environment…” Candy extolls. 

“Saving their ass,” mutters Nash.

“You should be supporting your brother and sister, Nash. Use Candy as your example. She’s seeing only the good they’re doing through this new venture,” Nancy admonishes.

“Oh Mom,” Candy starts, and Nancy clears her throat uncomfortably at the familial term of endearment, “I admire the twins so much. It’s my dream to start my own business someday.”

“Oh really? What kind of business?” Nelson asks even as Nicole sees the imminent plan of adding it to Tiny Purgatory behind her father’s eyes.

“I want to perform for all of Purgatory, bachelor parties, birthday parties, other special occasions...just go around this city sharing my gift with everyone,” Candy explains, a dreamy look in her eyes.

“What is it that you do again?” Nahla asks with genuine interest, “dance entertainment? Like a—”

“Stripper,” Noah finishes.

“Noah James,” Nancy warns.

“Exotic dancer,” Candy clarifies, and mixes her peas into her mashed potatoes. “It’s like interpretive dance, but exotic.” 

“AKA stripper.”

“Noah!”

“What, it’s true, right Nashy boy?” 

“Don’t antagonize your brother. Honestly, after all he’s been through with the custody battle over Angus...and that  _ Barbie _ ,” she adds. 

“Yeah, Nash,” Nicole starts. “What is it that you are going to do with  _ your _ life now?” 

“Candy,” Noah whispers under his breath and Noelle snickers. 

“Well, I think that’s fantastic!” Nelson credits Candy in an attempt to redirect the conversation. “In fact, your mother and I have some exciting news of our own. Do you want to tell them, Nanc?”

Nancy gets a sly look on her face and then her hands reach out in exclamation, “Well...we’re branching out to new things too…”

In that moment all Nicole can think about is the recent discovery she made in the garage. No one else knows;  _ no one can ever know _ . She doesn’t have time to begin distracting the family before her mother proceeds with their announcement. 

“Your father and I are retiring!”

Everyone’s silverware clatters against their plates in shock, then a long silence fills the dining room. Nelson and Nancy look at each other across the table. Now Nicole feels nauseous too.

“Nelson and I have had fulfilling careers over thirty years…” Nancy plugs on, “...and now we just want to spend time with our grandchildren and traveling.”

“I’ve been preparing the practice to only have me in a few days a week and then I’ll gradually turn it over to Todd when I’m ready to leave permanently. It’s not a complete retirement for me for a bit,” Nelson explains.

Todd is the other doctor at her father’s private practice. He’s been there close to twenty years, if Nicole remembers correctly. She recalls Todd telling her that she and her husband would bring their kids to the practice someday and he’d be their family physician. Wow, did Todd have that all wrong, Nicole chuckles to herself before realizing Nancy is still talking about her parents’ retirement plans.

“...and of course, we can’t wait to host the grandchildren for weekends. I know Nash has mentioned he’d like for Angus to be here more…”

“Free babysitting,” Noelle clarifies.

Nancy ignores her and proceeds, “...and Priscilla will hopefully be able to fit us in between her extracurricular activities and stay with us a few weeks in the summer. And certainly, when Waverly and Nicole have children, we’ll be able to be there from day one.”

Nicole catches on the word “extracurricular” again and shudders a bit at other  _ extracurricular _ activities her parents might engage in with so much free time, the swing swaying wildly in her imagination. 

Waverly seems surprised that Nicole’s not reacting negatively to the senior Haught’s plans to be ever-present in their future grandchildren’s lives. She utters a small, “Awhhh,” and grabs Nicole’s hand under the table, “...our children,” she repeats. 

Nicole realizes then that Nancy and Waverly are indeed plotting her demise. They’re going to team up and overpower her with this babycrazy talk until she relents. “...or you could just get a puppy,” she offers pathetically.

“We might do that too, Nicole,” her mother advises, undeterred. “In the meantime, we’ve got several projects. We’re going to go through the house and clean out the garage and create a guest room for anyone who wants to visit, especially the little ones.”

The garage. The  **_garage_ ** ? Nicole wonders if there’s a teeny little sex swing in Nelson’s replica garage in Tiny Purgatory. It’s too much...

Nicole can’t hold it in any longer or she might explode. “Why do you have a sex swing in the garage?” she blurts.

“Gross,” Noah says, his fork falling from his mouth to clink with his plate. 

“Nicole,” Waverly chides.

“That is not dinner talk,” Nancy says. “But if you must know, your father and I are very sexual beings.” 

Nelson coughs hard into the second full glass of wine he’s just poured himself. Nicole understands how it would be easier to get through all these family dinners just a little bit drunk. No wonder he’s always so quiet...

“Mom, should we be talking about this in front of the children?” Nahla says in a hushed voice inclining her head toward Priscilla.

“I walked in on mom and dad a few times,” Nash adds in, unphased like it’s just everyday that a sex swing is discovered in the garage. 

“Now I understand why you’re so fucked up.” 

“Watch your mouth in front of the baby, Nicole, for heaven's sake.” 

“Whenever I say a bad word, mama makes me put a dollar in the swear jar...she donates it to charity.” 

“My sisters name is Charity,” Candy says. 

“Is she a stripper too?” Noah asks. “Is she single?” 

“Actually she’s a manager at Hooters.” 

“Can I get her number?” 

“Well, you’re not really her type…” Candy says. “Noelle is more her type.”

Noelle blushes. 

“Those are both just...beautiful names,” Waverly says.

“Yeah, for a stripper,” Nicole mutters under her breath. Waverly pinches Nicole’s side.

“Be nice,” she whispers back. 

***

The crisp evening air turns her breath to fog, but it’s the fog on the back windows of the Mustang that immediately grabs Nicole’s attention. She looks around weary of any lurking hoodlums as she ascends the front stoop taking cautious steps forward.

Christmas dinner turns rancid in her stomach when a hand slaps against the glass. Is someone screwing around in the backseat of the Mustang?  _ Her _ Mustang?

Even more hesitant now, Nicole knocks on the window, averting her eyes from whatever cheap reenactment of the Titanic is happening on her vinyl seats, the seats Alice rides on to Wednesday dance lessons, and after, eats her snack. 

She could be more surprised that it’s Nash who peaks his head through the cracked door with a grin on his face, but she’s not. “Hey, Nicky? How’s it going?” 

“Really dude? In  _ my _ Mustang?” 

“Your backseat is bigger than mine,” he shrugs. “These fold-down seats must really come in handy, eh?”

“Get. Out.” 

The grin on his face washes away. After a bit of shuffling around he slides from the Mustang, buckling up his pants, followed by a very ruffled-up Candy. 

“Dude! What the hell!” Is all Nicole can say, having had enough of the abuse to her Mustang. Her heart lurches when she catches sight of the twisted metal of the bumper. 

“Don’t get your—”

“Don’t tell me not to get my panties in a bunch!” Everything that floods through Nicole’s mind is childish and dramatic, suddenly reverting back to some kid moment with her brother, and an  _ “epic” _ wedgie. “I’ll bunch up  _ your _ panties,” she growls, ignoring how stupid she sounds, and latches on to the denim of her brother’s jeans. 

He laughs at first until she gets a grip on the back of his underwear and attempts to yank them midway up his back. Two strong arms encircle her waist lifting the lower half of Nicole’s body off the ground until she’s hanging upside down in front of Nash, grasping at his shins for stability. 

By this time an audience has trickled out the door to watch in awe, and some to laugh. Embarrassed and frustrated, Nicole does the only thing she can think of, and by no means is it the first time. Nicole swings her elbow back hard into the crotch of her brother’s jeans. He yelps and releases Nicole to smack into the frozen concrete driveway. 

“Baby!” Candy cries, and rushes to Nash’s side. 

Nicole groans in starfish position again. A smile tugs at her lips watching Nash buckled over in nauseating pain while Candy rubs a hand up and down his back. She doesn’t regret it. She doesn’t regret it one bit. In fact, it’s been the most satisfying moment all weekend. 

“Nicole Haught!” Waverly chides from the front stoop. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

Nicole tilts her head back to see her wife charging over, “He started it,” she shrugs childishly. 

“Apologize to your brother.” 

“No, friggin’ way.” Nicole says gathering herself to her feet. “I’d do it again.” 

“Why are you behaving like this?”

“Waverly, did-didn’t you see what he was doing in the back of my Mustang?”

“I bet nothing  _ you _ haven’t done in the back of that Mustang,” Nash chuckles. He cranes his neck around Nicole and winks at Waverly. “Right sweetheart?” 

Out of nowhere Candy smacks Nash across the face, “I am tired of you hitting on your sister’s wife this whole weekend.”

“Oh, come on baby. You know I don’t mean nothin’ by it.” 

“And stop with that fake accent. You’re far from the south,  _ Nashy boy _ ,” she mocks. 

“Now darlin’, that’s not my name.”

“It is now,” Noah confirms with a smug grin on his face. 

“Ha,” Nicole snorts. “I’m not the only one with a stupid nickname.” 

“Candy honey, you know me. You know how much I appreciate a beautiful woman. I am just paying my compliments.” He wraps her in an awkward hug. “But you know you’re my number one girl.” 

Candy storms from his arms, and instead of disappearing down the driveway, or climbing into his truck, she clambors on the hood of Nicole’s Mustang. Nicole doesn’t have a moment to mourn the scratches her cheap stilettos are making in the Acapulco Blue paint before Candy drops her shorts and squats. The yellow liquid steams as it bleeds down the hood and pools on the concrete below. 

Nicole’s mouth hangs open in utter shock.  _ What in the eff? _

“Oh my god, Nicky! Candy’s peeing on your car.” Noah laughs and Noelle joins him. 

After it’s all said and done, Candy slips gracefully from the hood of the Mustang and marches over to Nash’s truck. “Take me home!” she demands.

Nicole frowns in disillusionment at the current state of the Mustang and the obvious yellow slosh of snow just below the bumper. Anger sears through her. She didn’t want to come here in the first place. They could have spent Christmas with Wynonna and Alice.  _ Her family.  _

Nicole’s eyes flicker in a fiery rage toward Nash, still standing like a clueless dumbass, even as Candy taps her foot waiting for him to drive her home. 

“I’m tired of you and all your sly remarks about my wife, and now this? What the hell dude?” Nicole shouts. 

“I’m sorry, Nicky,” he says. 

Shaking her head, just fed up, she spins around to face Noah and Noelle jabbing a finger in their direction. “And  _ you _ , stop laughing! I’m tired of all your laughing!” 

“Nicole, calm down,” Waverly says attempting to calm her with a touch, brushing her hands up Nicole’s arms and her shoulders, cupping her jaw, but Nicole just spits fire in every direction. 

“And you Nancy, this entire weekend you have spent ganging up on me with my own wife, trying to pressure me into having babies. For you? So you can be a grandmother? Look around mother, you have grandchildren already. I’m sure with Nash’s reputation there’s more out there somewhere.” 

“Nicole, be nice,” Waverly insists. 

“Stop it, Waverly. I don’t want this. Do you see what I mean now?” Nicole gestures to the wreckage behind her— the car, her brother, everyone staring at them while Nicole snaps at her wife on Christmas of all times. “I mean look at this.”

“Just, calm down. It’s just a car.”

“Just a car? That car is important to me. I love it more than any—” Nicole trails off. A sickly feeling replaces Nicole’s fire at the forlorn expression on Waverly’s face. “I mean  _ almost  _ more than anything.” 

“Right,” Waverly says, sounding unconvinced. 

“Waves, that’s just it. I  _ do _ love you more than anything, and I don’t want that to change with a baby.” Nicole walks toward her.

Waverly withdraws, her eyes are glossy, and there’s a quiver in her lip that Nicole finds heartbreaking. They don’t fight like this. They shouldn’t be fighting like this. Things are perfect between them. So _ fucking _ perfect. That’s all Nicole is trying to do, preserve this. Despite what she says or what Waverly says. 

“Yeah,” Waverly nods and squeezes her eyes shut forcing a tear to trail down her cheek. “Okay, you win.” But it doesn’t feel like a victory. 

“Okay,” Nicole sighs, holding a hand out to Waverly. Waverly steps out of reach, shaking her head just as she did before, trying to keep it together. “Waverly you’re scaring me. What’s happening right now?” 

She takes in a deep breath and lets it out before speaking, “You don’t have to do this, Nicole...but, it’s too late for me. I don’t really have a choice anymore.” 

“What?” Nicole says almost inaudible, coming to recognition. “We talked and we talked. I don’t understand...how?”

“I didn’t know, Nicole...before. I just knew that something was different.” she wipes tears from her chin on the back of her hand. “It’s not like I was sick or anything, just different. Jeremy is the one who said it. I didn’t believe him at first, but…” she makes a sweeping gesture across her body. “So here I was wondering how the hell this happened. How could it even be possible?  _ That’s  _ when I did the research...that’s when I knew about the miraculous conceptions.”

So many questions flood through Nicole’s mind at once and the most selfish part of her wants to scream out,  _ you’re an angel, can’t you just undo it _ ? But she can’t say that. She won't. “It was an accident?”

“We weren’t  _ ganging up on you. _ I thought maybe if I could convince you to want this baby, convince you that it wouldn’t be so bad...then it wouldn't be  _ so  _ bad. But you are who you are.” She gestures to Nicole. Looking defeated, she turns toward the front stoop. 

“Waves? Please.” 

Waverly stalls and spins around, “For the record, I didn’t want this either...things were perfect...but when I found out, I couldn’t help it. I got excited and I wanted someone to be exciting for me. That's why I told Nancy before you.” Her face scrunches up with utter disgust as the tears swell in her eyes, and she snarls, “You know what, Nicole? I hope you and your Mustang are really happy together.” She disappears into the house.

Nicole’s surprised to see her walk away. Everything begins to weigh her down, crushing her chest, she can’t breathe. Waverly's most important to her and she’s about to lose her. The thought of it nearly buckles Nicole’s knees.

***

Nicole sits on a plank in the corner of the yoga studio. A pygmy goat pushes at her wrist until she scratches its head absently. She pinches the bridge between her eyes with the other hand, sighing. Finally, she gives up and leans back against the mural on the wall, a crude painting of a lotus flower.

Nicole opens her eyes a sliver when she hears the creak of the door and huffs when she sees Nancy shutting it quietly and then making her way over to the wall. She sits down on the floor inconspicuously, leaving space for Nicole to join her. Neither of them speaks for a long time. 

“Do you remember the summer that all three of you got poison ivy at your Aunt Jo’s the week before the music festival? Nash and Nahla begged to come home, you wanted to stay to go to that silly concert with your aunt and uncle,” Nancy relives.

Nicole sighs again. “Yes…but let’s not talk about that festival or the fire.”

“You were covered head to toe but you  **insisted** ,” Nancy continues despite Nicole’s protest.

“What did you care if I went or not? You were obsessed with the twins and couldn’t be bothered with any of us, poison ivy-infested or not,” Nicole retorts.

“Nicole, the twins were sick when they were born, premature, and we almost lost them. I wasn’t obsessed, I was terrified, especially after we brought them home, so tiny and frail.”

As the pieces fall into place for Nicole after two decades of denial, she chokes out a hoarse cry, sliding from the plank down the wall towards her mother. “I’m sorry, so sorry, Mom. I never even asked…”

“Hush, child,” Nancy assuages, putting her arm around Nicole gently, fingers pressing into her side to pull her closer. “You didn’t know…”

“I didn’t want to know…”

“Nicole, when you have children, things shift, they change. And you don’t think about anything but their safety, their happiness. You want them to be the best version of themselves. And your father and I, maybe it was naive, thought allowing you to do the things you wanted would form you into a wonderful adult. And you are! You’re smart and funny, you’re beautiful and loyal. I don’t think you ever consider what it means to us, to Waverly, that you’re always here. I know, you act like you don’t care and you probably think you don’t, but if your father and I called and needed something, you’d be there. The same goes for your brothers and sisters.”

Picking at the hem of her jeans, recounting all the times she’d willfully disobeyed or acted out to get their attention, Nicole adds, “I was a real shit sometimes.” 

“I just hope you’ve quit most of those bad habits, like smoking. That’s not good to have around children…” 

Nicole doesn’t acknowledge Nancy’s wish; she sits and stares at the adjacent wall. Nancy waits for her to gather her thoughts.

“We’re perfect, Mom,” Nicole admits, “We’re perfect and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that, in the way of our time together and the life we’ve built and the dreams we have.”

“Maybe it’s time for new dreams, Nicole. Maybe it’s time to see a new level of perfect,” Nancy suggests. “Sometimes the stars align and things come your way that you never thought could be possible. I admit, it wasn’t my and your father’s ambition to have five kids, but I feel like you’re all here for a reason…”

“Nash-“

“Nash was our learning curve. We had no idea what we were doing and he’s suffered for that a bit.” Nancy nods, “Nash has a good heart. He volunteers every weekend with Habitat for Humanity; he’s built six new homes this year. He has custody of Angus, and you and I both know that judges who decide these things take into account all the facets of a parent’s life. He loves Angus and he probably loves Candy, and if she’s part of his future, then you and I and everyone else has to get used to that…”

“She peed on my Mustang, Mom.”

“She’s a little rough around the edges,” Nancy chuckles wetly, tears in her eyes at the understanding that Nicole is starting to open up. “Sometimes I think Nash did the opposite of your father just to see what he could get away with. Sound familiar?” With further thought, she adds, “All my children are savages.”

“I am not a savage.”

“You got mad at your wife for sharing some rather important and happy news with your mother because she didn’t trust you to react with love, Nicole,” Nancy admonishes.

Nicole nods her head silently. “She needed to tell someone.”

“She did.”

“I’m scared of doing this, Mom.”

“I’m scared for both you and Waverly, but we’re all scared when we become parents, Nicole. Your whole world shifts and it’s a constant battle of wondering if you can take care of them and show them right and wrong and make them happy. Most importantly, making them happy.”

“I can’t even make my wife happy right now,” Nicole chokes out.

“You can and you do. But you’ve got to get on board with this. Waverly is going through a lot. She needs you to be there for her.”

“I can’t lose her,” Nicole admits with dread and fear.

“You’re not going to lose her as long as you show her that you love her and you love this baby. And I think you do, Nicole. How could you not? It’s yours as much as Waverly’s and she’d say the same.” 

Nicole sniffles and wipes her face. She didn’t realize she is crying. “I just never want the baby to feel…alone…to feel like we’re not there for him, or her, or them…I don’t want them to wonder if we love them.”

“Oh Nicole, is that what you felt all those years ago? Is that still what you feel now?”

“I was always home alone. I was always doing things for this family, stuff that Nash and Nahla didn’t have to do even though they were older. And then when it was something for me, you and Nelson weren’t there very often…”

“The three-pointer at the buzzer in the championship game, fifth row from the top of the bleachers. We did come in late because your father had to make sure Nash couldn’t find the spare keys to his new sports car and go out galavanting while we were three hours away for your game. Then your Aunt Jo called as we were making our way down to you and said the twins were throwing up everywhere, so we couldn’t take the time to escort you out for a celebratory dinner. We stood at courtside and watched all your teammates congratulate you and we were _so_ _proud_ , Nicole.”

“You never told me that…”

“You were seventeen; you wouldn’t have believed us.”

Nicole knows she’s right. At seventeen she couldn’t stand her family and she was damn sure they had no use for her. She didn’t realize how that hasn’t abated much in the fifteen years since. Distance didn’t really kill that feeling of loneliness, not in college or the Academy, not in Purgatory, not before Waverly. Nothing was really good before  _ Waverly _ . And now Waverly is pregnant. And Nicole isn’t reacting very well, is she? 

“My kid is going to pull this shit on me too, isn’t she, Nancy?”

“Yes, Nicole. That’s what kids do. They don’t understand why adults do what they do and they resent them and then they lash out, and fifteen years later you’re both sitting in a smelly goat yoga studio lamenting all the lost years in which your daughter didn’t know she wasn’t being neglected. And Nicole, you have to make room too. 

“When we were on our way to the hospital that night, the ambulance blaring sirens, your dad and I huddled in the back each holding one of the twins, I kept thinking about how we couldn’t tell you everything and it wouldn’t make sense to you. But Nelson grabbed my arm and said, ‘I _ t is Nicole and she’ll be fine…if anyone, Nicole will be fine. _ ’ And I knew he was right. Honey, you’ve always been the strongest kid we have. You’re the middle, you’re the  _ center _ , for a reason…the universe knew we needed you to keep us all in check.

“We need you, Nicole, and this new baby, it’s going to need you too…and Waverly is going to need you most of all. It’s really scary to bring a new life into this world, but she wants that. And she wants that with  _ you _ .”

Tears stream down Nicole’s face now. She uses her sleeve to dry them best she can. Nancy slides around on the floor gracefully until she’s sitting in front of Nicole. She presses her hands against Nicole’s hot damp cheeks and makes her look Nancy in the eye. “We don’t know what life has for us, Nicole. We don’t know who we’re going with or how long we’re going on this grand trip. But don’t you want it to be the biggest adventure ever? Your wife is going to have a  _ baby _ , a baby that shouldn’t even be possible. I can’t think of a more glorious journey than watching that little one grow up and watching you be their mom.”

Nicole sighs in defeat and relief. “She’s going to be so spoiled.”

“I’m sure he is…”

“What makes you think it’s going to be a boy?”

“What makes you think it isn’t?”

“Okay, Nancy, you keep your spiritual cosmic intuitions to yourself. And I don’t even want to hear your ideas for baby names. And if you so much as think you’re going to put a tiny little chakra on  _ my baby _ then…” Nicole catches herself when she says it for the first time. 

Nancy sees it too, the look that graces Nicole’s face. She pulls Nicole in and squeezes her tightly. “I’m proud of you,” she whispers, “and I’ve always been proud of you, and I’m going to be a very proud grandmother to your baby, Nicole.”

Just then the door to the studio crashes open, Wynonna standing in a leather jacket and holding Peacemaker, the wind whipping her hair wildly. “Nicole Haught, you have some explaining to do!” she yells above the increasing wail of winter behind her.

Nicole stands quickly when Wynonna bursts through the studio door.  _ Oh shit oh shit oh shit _ , she was not expecting Wynonna tonight. 

“You know what you did!” wails Wynonna, the gun’s barrel waving wildly through the distance between them. She tips the flask back. She’s obviously still drunk, Nicole thinks.

“Wynonna, this is not what it seems like.”

“And how does it seem? It seems as if you made Babygirl cry and now I have to kill you.”

“Really, Wy?” Nicole asks skeptically.

“I at least have to smack you around, Nicole,” she confirms, her voice dropping to a more controlled octave. “Why is Waverly so upset??”

“Wynonna…” Nicole clears her throat, “Do you remember when we had that conversation about Waverly’s angelic  **powers** ?”

Wynonna drops her hand, Peacemaker hanging limply at her side now, her brow furrowing as she looks towards the ceiling in deep thought. “Nah…”

Nicole leans in, grabbing Wynonna’s elbow slightly, her voice dropping to a whisper, “…about the whole baby thing?” she reminds her.

Suddenly the previous conversation returns to her and recognition lights on her face. “OHHH…but you said…”

“I was wrong. Or it was too late, or…or something…”

“You mean?”

“Yeah,” confirms Nicole. 

“Yeah??”

“Wynonna, she’s knocked up. With child. Preggers.”

Wynonna’s shock is evident and then her face goes blank. “You did that?”

“Apparently…”

“Waverly…”

“I know.”

Wynonna holsters Peacemaker and sighs heavily. She turns to walk back out the same door from where she came. “I’ll deal with you later.”

Nicole and Nancy can’t help but follow Wynonna back into the main house. She walks stoically through the living room, melee around her as the Haughts gossip and lament the state of Nicole and Waverly’s marriage, their impending parenthood. Her mission is evident and she goes to the closed door of Nicole’s childhood bedroom and knocks quietly. “Babygirl, it’s me. Can I come in?” even as she turns the knob and silently enters the room. 

Nicole stands nervously nearby, pushing her hands deep into her jean pockets, her shoulders rising towards her ears with anxiety. She’s pale, paler than usual, and worry creates lines on her forehead.

It’s less than ten minutes when Wynonna opens the door again and ushers Waverly out into the family room. She drapes her arm over Waverly’s shoulder protectively at first, but then she smiles softly as she turns towards the expectant family members gathered there. “So, as you may have all heard earlier, Waverly is going to have a baby, Nicole’s baby to be exact, so y’all better prepare for a lot more snot and puke and joy. It’s a friggin Christmas miracle!” She woots even as she pulls the flask from her coat and takes a hardy draw. 

Everyone hollers their excitement and gathers around Waverly, all the contention and bad vibes immediately dissipating. Wynonna leaves her there and walks across the room to see Nicole still standing awkwardly, awaiting her punishment. 

“Nicole, you need to make this right.”

“I know. I’m going to, Wynonna. I figured it all out and it’s going to be okay,” she assures.

“It is?”

“Yes, I’m going to talk to Waverly and everything is going to be fine. Good. Everything is going to be good. I love her, Wynonna.”

“Eww…and you better.”

Wynonna winks and turns to join the crowd of well-wishers huddling around Waverly. 

Tentatively Nicole walks up and the family parts and then they’re standing feet away from each other. “Can I talk to you? Please, just let me talk to you this once and then if you want to…” she can barely choke out the words, “...if you want to do this without me, I’ll respect your decision, Waverly.”

Waverly nods slightly and returns to their bedroom, Nicole following close behind. She so desperately wants to place her hand on Waverly’s back. She just wants to touch her for a moment so Waverly will feel the love radiating from her, but she doesn’t. 

When they’re well inside their room, Nicole closes the door gently and turns to face Waverly.

“Waverly, I am so sorry for the things that I said. I didn’t mean them.”

But Waverly confronts Nicole. “I think you did, I think you meant those hurtful things, even if it was just in a moment of anger and shock.”

“I  _ was _ shocked,” Nicole admits.

“I was just as shocked when Jeremy told me, when I found all the historical evidence of this happening for centuries between angels and humans, when I took the tests…”

“Tests?” Nicole asks.

“I took a lot of those cheap home pregnancy tests and then I finally convinced myself to make a doctor’s appointment to confirm it,” Waverly says, swallowing hard.

“You did all of that alone,” Nicole breathes as she reaches towards Waverly, but Waverly steps back. She’s not ready.

“I did and I wanted so desperately to tell you, but I wanted you to be happy about it too...And I meant what I said, that I didn’t want this, not this way. We were perfect Nicole, but you ruined that. We can never be perfect again if you really believe that a baby, our baby, would fuck up our lives.”

Nicole opens her mouth to defend herself, but Waverly raises a hand to stop her, continuing, “Do you know what it was like to be so beyond stunned at something that just…” Waverly throws up her hands in disbelief “...happened like this?? And then in the next moment so elated that you and the person you love more than anything in the world have created it? I know you can’t understand, Nicole, but-”

Nicole can understand though. She has to make Waverly see that she understands. “If it’s anything like how I feel every time I think about how much I love you and you love me, how we somehow found each other and survived all the things that tried to end us. This is the universe’s way of making up for all the shit we’ve endured.”

“Do you really believe that, Nicole?” Waverly asks warily.

“I love you more than anything in this world, a million times more than some stupid car, and I have never been able to fathom loving someone more than you, but I think I could love our baby that way...I know it, even, I  **know** I will, Waves,” Nicole declares, reaching out and gingerly taking Waverly’s hand.

“It doesn’t excuse everything horrible that you’ve been saying about having children for the last three weeks, ever since I started trying to acclimate you to the idea of this happening…”

“If you had just told me…” Nicole defends.

“I was going to tell you the night we went shopping when we saw the twins at the toy store, and then you were so callous about how they were the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean, Nicole Haught? Because I believe the words ‘no babies’ have been coming out of your mouth since we started dating. I didn’t have a choice at that point and all I could hear was how this was the one thing you were dead-set against. Now it seems like we are headed for disaster.”

Nicole reaches out to Waverly again. “We’re not headed for disaster.” 

Waverly shrinks away.

Nicole extends her hand and leaves it waiting between them, “I want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted until today.”

Waverly chokes out a sob and almost turns away, “You don’t want me anymore?”

“No, I want you. I will always want you and need you. I can’t live without you, Waves.” Nicole takes a step closer to Waverly. “I want all of you and I can’t believe we get to have a baby together.”

Waverly reaches out and finally lays her hand in Nicole’s. “Do you mean it? Because I don’t think I can have you say this and then be so cruel as to change your mind when it gets tough? It’ll be hard sometimes, Nicole...probably a lot and I need you and want you by my side, but not like this. Not with telling me to control my baby heart, especially now that there is one…”

Nicole takes a sharp breath in again. It’s real; this is  _ real _ .

“I’m going to lean into my baby heart, Waves…”

“Yeah?” Waverly asks as she looks up with new hope in her eyes.

“Yeah,” is all Nicole says before she takes one final step and they’re standing face to face. 

“Please forgive me and let me have the chance to show you I can be there for you.”

“And the baby,” Waverly demands gently.

“Package deal always. You  _ and _ the baby, Waves.”

Doubts still plague Waverly. “I want you to be happy...I want you to be excited…” Waverly admits.

“I talked to Nancy about a lot of things I’m worried that I won’t know how to handle it, but most of all, it’s that I’m going to fail you and our kid.”

“This baby is worth the risk, but I don’t think you’ll fail. I think you’re going to be an awesome mama. If you’re scared of anything, maybe it should be how much you’re going to love being a mom, so much that you might want more,” Waverly implies.

“Whatever life gives us, Waverly, as long as I’m with you. I’ll change my tune to ‘all the babies’ if that means we’re doing this together,” Nicole promises.

Waverly laugh, but the doubt is evident, and then she looks away from Nicole for a moment. Nicole takes hold of her other hand to keep them grounded together. “I’m excited to see if she’s a redhead seeing as how I’m the only one in my family.”

“I hope he does. It would be perfect,” Waverly replies a bit nonchalantly.

“He? What’s with you and my mom, or is this like a sixth sense that it’s a boy?”

“Do you want to find out before they’re born?” warming up to Nicole’s questions, Waverly grows a bit more curious.

“You know I like to be prepared,” admits Nicole.

Waverly tilts her head in consideration. “I want to wait. It’s the only real surprise left in life perhaps.”

“Then I guess we’re going to be twice as surprised,” affirms Nicole, pulling Waverly into her arms gently. “I can’t wait to see you explain this to the doctor though,” she whispers, kissing her on the forehead and laughing a bit.

Waverly pulls back a little and looks up at Nicole, tracing her fingers down Nicole’s jaw lightly, “Well, see Doctor, I have the most amazing wife ever…” she leans in and places a small kiss against the corner of Nicole’s mouth, “...and I’ve always said what we have is magic…” she kisses Nicole again, this time with more fervor, “...and here we are.”

Nicole kisses Waverly then like she hasn’t kissed her for what feels like ages, her body warming against her wife’s as they grow closer, getting lost in each other. The two only stop when Nash bangs on the bedroom door, Nicole pulling away slightly and rolling her eyes, “...yes, here we are,” she snickers. 

“Yo Nicky, Wynonna was just telling us you have a flaming phoenix tattoo on your butt and I’ve got to see that for myself!”

“What the hell is he talking about?”

“Oh just something I told Wynonna years ago about how I would always be with you, especially when it’s something you want in your beautiful heart, Waves,” Nicole concedes.

“I just want this,” Waverly says dreamily. Leaning in to kiss Nicole again, she pauses, “And obviously I want to do Christmas with the Haughts every year.”

Nicole looks around, hearing all the commotion of her family from just beyond her room. She feels it then, a sense of comfort and home, and she knows she’s finally found her place. She and Waverly and the baby have their first tradition together. 

“Fine,” she offers, but Waverly can see the huge grin that breaks across her face, “But maybe we don’t bring the Mustang next year?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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